Do As I Say, Not As I Do
by Azrael'sLoveChild
Summary: Lucifer has had enough of Chloe getting hurt at work and decides it's time for him to take control.Until his Father steps in and shows him how to really take control.
1. Chapter 1

Beep, beep. Chloe Decker once again found herself waking up in a hospital. Last nights events replaying through her mind, the victim, the perp, Lucifer screaming, the bullets hitting her flesh. What should have been a routine jewelry heist investigation had led Lucifer and her on a wild goose chase all over town. The last address they had to check was in East Los Angeles, the proverbial hot spot for any and all gang activity. She had tried to warn Lucifer of the danger but he was positively giddy at the prospect of punishing evil doers as he called them.

The house at the address looked run down and abandoned but she had to check it anyway. It was on the list. Lucifer was out of the car before she was and already had his hand on her door. She hoped he would keep his cool and not try to use his Jedi mind tricks on any suspects. Her captain was already suspicious of how easily Lucifer could get the guilty to confess.

She and Lucifer had approached the door, she with a hand on her revolver and Lucifer with his hands in his pockets. Something was off here, she could feel it in her gut. She had knocked loudly, announcing she was with LAPD and then it happened. Everything seemed to go out of control all at once. The body rolled off the roof, the perp jumping through the window, his AK-47 rapidly firing at her and Lucifer screaming as he jumped on the man's back. Before she hit the ground, she could have sworn she saw Lucifer turn into some kind of monster and snap the man's neck.

"Detective, stay with me, my Father is not ready for you. Quite frankly, I don't think he will ever be, so you must remain here with me. You made a deal with me, you bastard, she lives or else."

To Chloe's blurry eyes, it looked like Lucifer, the man who claimed to be the devil, was crying. This couldn't be right. Maybe one of those shells hit her in the head and she was hallucinating. That had to be what it was.

Chloe heard voices outside of her room and leaned up to listen better, they had to be talking about her. The slight movement sending pain radiating through her, she bit her lip, fighting back the waves so she could hear whoever it was talking. She was a detective, she had to know what was going on.

"She took 16 hollow point shells. She should be hamburger, but she's alive and there's very little damage. She must have some kind of guardian angel watching over her. In all my years in the medical field, I've never seen anything like it."

"If she had an angel, why did she even get shot in the first place?", a female scoffed, "Doctor, what would you have me do with her now? it's too soon for anymore meds and I don't think dinner is such a good idea, either."

"Well, she hasn't had anything solid to eat these past 6 days so go ahead and give her a light meal and we'll see if she can hold it down and we will go from there. I'll be in with her shortly to make sure any infection hasn't set in. It's a damn miracle she's alive and I'd hate for her to have any setbacks from something easily preventable, right nurse Wilkins?"

"Yes, Doctor. I'll get right on it."

Chloe quickly laid back down. Her head was spinning. 6 days, she had been unconscious 6 whole days. My God, Trixie must be a mess. Who was taking care of her? Dan was in jail. No one had come to visit? She could really feel the love right now. Panic began to set in as she wondered where her baby girl was. The alarms on the monitors began to blare, and soon the room was filled with nurses and a doctor all trying to calm her down. When the needle full of sedative punctured her arm, all she could muster was a weak, "no", before the black haze filled her vision once again.

"Dammit, Maze! How much could someone her age eat? Really? $7000 on groceries already. It's only been 6 days. I don't recall anytime in the 5 years we have been on this ball of shit, that we've spent that much", Lucifer complained after checking his credit statement.

It was very easy for him to convince Child Services to let him take the child after they couldn't reach her grandmother. He was rich, handsome, and for some reason, the little hellion clung to him and begged to be with him. He just hoped the detective would appreciate his efforts with the child and the other ones she had no idea of

"Lucifer, you don't have any idea how much the proper upkeep of a lady costs these days", Maze informed him.

"Well, neither do you since you're no lady, Maze."

The demon growled at her master and returned to the child. She would spend every sent Lucifer had if it kept the girl from anymore nightmares and crying. Maze, who loved to cause misery, couldn't handle seeing this child in any kind of pain. She would go to the ends of the earth and procure all the chocolate cake in Lucifer's father's creation for Beatrice if she had to. Lucifer ordered her to make Trixie happy and that is just what she intended to do.

Lucifer really didn't care how much Maze spent, he was unhappy and frustrated. Chloe had been hurt yet, again doing her bloody job. Really, was the need to get justice so strong in her that it outweighed any sense of self preservation? Justice was his arena. He would have to put a stop to this nonsense right away. Chloe couldn't be a cop anymore, he would have to find something else for her to do. It was in her best interests and those of her child. Perhaps she would like to work for him, maybe as a pole dancer at LUX. He wouldn't mind installing a dance pole in his room. The image in his head was having dire consequences in his trousers and he had to shake the vision away. As delicious as it would be, he knew the good detective would detest the idea. Perhaps they could open a private investigation agency? Then they wouldn't be so bound to mortal laws. After all, that was so boring. Well, no matter, he would inform the detective of his decision for her and they would go from there. It was time to take the spawn to the hospital to see her incubator.

"Look, child, your lazy mother is finally awake", Lucifer said, standing by Chloe's bed, holding Tixie on his hip.

Chloe should have known Lucifer would take daughter, he was good like that. She gave him a weak smile, thinking about flipping him the finger but that was not something she wanted her baby to see.

"Mommy!", the child screamed, jumping from Lucifer's arms. "You're alive. See, Lucifer, you won't have to raise me forever!"

Chloe made a loud umf sound as the child landed next to her, shaking the bed,"See why I call her a monkey, now? How long was I out this time, Lucifer?"

"20 years, I'm afraid. That child is not Beatrice. That's Beatrice and I's child. We married when she grew up since she found me so irresistible. You're my mother in law, surprise"

"You ass", said Chloe shaking her head. "So, you had my baby this past week? I thought you didn't like children?" It was hard for her not to laugh but it hurt so much if she did.

"This one tends to grow on you, like a tumor if you will. You really have no control over it and cutting it off may make it worse."

"Maze took me shopping and I could eat whatever I wanted. It was so cool", Trixie informed her mother. "The only bad part was he made me go to bed at 7:00. He said if I was going to inherit his throne, I needed my sleep."

Chloe smiled at her partner and mouthed a thank-you to him as she held her baby tight. She was so afraid of what could have happened. But thanks to Lucifer, she had no reason to worry anymore. She relaxed and held the child as Lucifer watched them for a moment.

Lucifer looked down at his detective and her child. That is how they should be all of the time. Not passing by each other coming and going. He then decided it was the best time to inform Chloe of his decision.

"Detective, I don't want you to be a police officer anymore."

Chloe glared at him speechless as the nurse came in with a tray of unrecognizable food, "Time to eat ,Mrs. Morningstar."

"Don't fret, detective, I can explain."


	2. Chapter 2

I'm taking a few liberties with religion, history and whatever else pops up. Don't get upset. It's just for the story.

Also, I don't own Lucifer, I make no cash from this and it's all in good fun as I wait for the mystery of Chloe Decker to be explained on the show.

"Sir, your wife has been injured, I suggest you don't do anything that will upset her. Also, visiting hour is over in fifteen minutes. You'll have to leave this time. You and the kid can't hide behind the curtains and spend the night like you did yesterday. I'll be back to check."

Lucifer nodded and waited for her to leave the tray before speaking. His mouth was dry and he desperately needed a drink. No one had looked at him the way Chloe was, well not since his fall from grace.

"Explain! Now or I may shoot you again."

"Actually, you can't, they took your service revolver when they brought you in here", Lucifer said with a smug grin.

"Then I'll just choke you", she growled at him.

Why did she have to look so sexy angry? It made him want to crawl into that bed and have his way with her, no matter how uncomfortable it would be. Except, he was sure the child would have some objection to him ravishing her mother before her very eyes.

"Well, you see, it's like this. Dan signed the divorce papers upon entering jail. He didn't want his crime to taint your career. He asked me to take care of you and the child for him, which is a favor I had no problem granting, I might add. The second night you were here, I asked you to be my wife so I could better take care of you with all the red tape you humans have to go through. You said yes, the child is my witness and I have it recorded on my phone. You made a deal with the devil darling and there is no turning back now. Of course, I'll give you time to recover before we go on our honeymoon, other wise, it would just be cruel and I find I cannot be cruel to you. "

"You even said you loved him, mommy. It was amazing. Now, Lucifer is my step-dad."

Chloe was speechless. She was married to Lucifer, had even said she loved him. Vicodin is one hell of a drug, that's for sure. Was this even legal? The more important question was, did she have a way out?

"Lucifer, how did we get married if I was unconscious? There are documents to sign and arrangements to be made."

"Darling, you were wide awake and almost giddy. As I said, it's all on my mobile, rock solid proof. You even let me kiss the bride."

"It was the painkillers, Lucifer. You took advantage of me at a very vulnerable time."

"They are quite strong. I took a few myself, to steady my nerves and all that. And there was no taking advantage. Someone has to take care of you. You obviously can't take care of yourself. You could have died if not for my bargaining skills."

"Lucifer, can you be serious for one fuc- freaking moment.."

Her tirade was abruptly cut off by her daughter as the child covered her mouth and pointed at her, "Oohh, you almost said one of the no-no words, mommy. You're going to hell. Nana says anyone who uses the no-no words is going to hell."

Lucifer fell to his knees laughing,"Child, one does not go to hell for simple words, it's their actions that damn them. Of course, they find a way to blame it on me, though."

Trixie seemed to think on his words for a mere second before stating, "Well, then people are dumb. Mommy always says we are accountable for our actions, bad and good, no matter the circumstance."

Lucifer raised and eyebrow, "Does she, now? Very interesting. Let's see if she can follow through with that. Or is it the old 'do as I say, not as I do' adage, detective?"

Rat bastard. He had really sewn her into a corner. What kind of example would she be if she went against everything she stood for, but at the same time, could she really survive being married to Lucifer. He was certifiable. She knew one thing for sure, she was going to make his life hell. Little did she know, nothing she could do would ever match up to the things he had seen or done. All of a sudden, the skies went dark and rain began to pound on the windows.

"Oh, my. Seems we have upset someone. Come, child. Let your mother rest, I have some work to do. Let's feed you and Maze will help you pick an outfit for your kiddy jail tomorrow. I shall return, wife."

"Bastard", was all Chloe could say the door closed behind them. He was so going to pay for this. One way or another. For now, she would have to deal with being Mrs. Morningstar. It did have a nice ring to it though. She never took Dan's name so she was never called Missus anything. She almost wanted to see what kind of husband her psycho partner would be. Almost. Oh, Lord, how strong were those painkillers they were giving her for her to even consider it?

Lucifer returned to his loft with Trixie just as Amenadiel landed on his balcony. Time stopped, leaving the child frozen in place. Lucifer braced himself for either a punch or a temper tantrum. Coming from his brother, both actions amounted to the same thing. Annoyance.

"Father is most displeased with you, Luci."

Lucifer let out a bored yawn, "What else is new, Meni?"

"You married a human, Lucifer. Not just any human, either. You married her."

"Why do you always talk in riddles. I know the detective is immune to my advances and weakens me but for my sake, what is so special about her that she can't be married to me?"

"You smug, arrogant, jerk! Our kind never marry! Ever! We are far superior to them. They are lowly creatures even if Father holds them in high regard."

"Leave my new daddy alone!", Trixie yelled, rushing at Amenadiel and punching his legs.

"How in the hell did she break out of your spell?", Lucifer asked, taken off guard. "Is mom weakening you on the mortal plane?"

"I'm not sure. This has never happened before. I have to ask what is going on."

"I heard everything you said, you think my mommy isn't good enough to be married to Lucifer. Why? My mommy is the best lady in the whole world. I hate you, I hate you.", Trixie lost it, punching Amendiel between the legs.

Lucifer laughed then, "Darling, that won't phase him, there's nothing there. Or, rather it's so microscopic, it's invisible to the naked eye." He then pointed at the angel, "Don't hurt that child or I'll be very upset."

"That's not what your demon said as she screamed my name. It seemed I was more then adequate. And, Luci, I don't hurt children. I'd fall faster than you did."

"Right. Did you feel anything when the feathered asshole landed, Beatrice? Did everything stop for you?"

"No, I just stopped walking because you did. Also, mommy says not to talk when adults are, so I kept quiet until he said those things about my mommy. Big feathered jerk face. I want to call him so many bad things but I don't want to go to hell."

"Lucifer, how is my divinity not affecting her? Mortals can't be around me for more than a few seconds and not be affected."

"Maybe you're not as divine as you think, butt head", Trixie said, sticking out her tongue.

"Alright, run along and watch the tele you love so much and let me talk to your new uncle for a bit."

Trixie wrinkled her nose at Amenadiel and skipped off to Lucifer's lounge to watch cartoons. She really didn't like that guy in the black dress and she wanted to kick him. She was going to tell her mommy next time she saw her and mommy could arrest him. There was no way she would ever claim him as an uncle, either, not for all the chocolate cakes in the world.

Lucifer poured a full two fingers of scotch and downed it before continuing his conversation with his brother. He had a feeling that if he was mortal, he would have a headache. He turned and motioned for the angel to continue.

Well, what has father's panties in a wad, he usually doesn't care what I do with the humans?"

"He doesn't. This has something to do with Chloe Dec-Morningstar. She is a consecrated human, that was all he would say."

Chloe Decker was consecrated? Oh, this was rich. The only way a mortal got that designation was to be a relative of the Christ. That explains so much. There was no way he was letting her go now.

"Lucifer, I see those wheels turning, what are you thinking about? I see the wheels turning and it frightens me."

"He's thinking of ways to bind Decker to him for eternity. And I'll help him any way I can", Maze said from the doorway. "I've fed the child and she expressed much unhappiness with a certain angel. I should kick your ass right here."

Amenadiel gave them both a dirty look and took flight. Lucifer knew the fight would come another day. His darling brother didn't have the balls to challenge both of them.

"So, what do we do with this new information?", Maze asked with a grin on her face.

"Prove every story in the bible is a lie, perhaps? But first, I have to keep her from divorcing me or running away."

"If she tries, I'll hunt her down", Maze said, not wanting to say anything bad or threaten Chloe in any way, not with her child in ear shot.

"That, my Maze, is why I keep you around, love."


	3. Chapter 3

Bonehead, that's what he was. A bonehead. The sexist pig had the nerve to tell her that any wife of his was not going to run around playing cop. She would stay at home, raise the poppet and take care of his affairs, all under the threat of locking her in a cell in the deepest depths of hell. He really took that being the devil shtick a bit too far sometimes. He acted as if he owned her now and that was not something she could abide by. She may very well shoot him, again. The only thing he hadn't tried yet was the honeymoon. Thank God. She had been out of the hospital for four days and he tried nothing, not even a dirty joke or off-color remark.

But he had also hired a home care nurse to help her as she convalesced. Her recovery was slow and the Captain had told her that since this was her second shooting in the last year, she would have to take 6 weeks off this time. If she didn't follow that simple command she, would find herself on desk duty for the rest of her life.

Lucifer made sure she wanted for nothing, as well. He had gotten clothes for she and Trixie from her house, bought them food and hired Trixie a tutor after school to help with her homework. He also gave into Chloe's every whim, no matter how ridiculous she was being. The only thing that bothered Chloe was the way Maze watched her, as if she expected Chloe to bolt at any second. No way that was going to happen, she found she enjoyed ordering Lucifer around way too much. She might not even go home for a while. She did so love to watch him squirm. But right now, he had her pissed because he was being a creepy jerk again.

"Now, listen well, wife. As my wife, people are going to have certain expectations of you."

"When have you known me, in all of these months, to give two shits what other people expected? You're being ridiculous, yet again, with the stupid rules you're giving me."

"It was good enough for Moses to have 10 commandments so it will be good enough for you, darling. Now, number 5, you shall not have another other demons before me. Number 6, if you're craving attention of any kind and I do mean any, you will come to me. You will neither speak to or look at any other man. Number 7, you shall not use Lucifer's name in vain. Why are you not writing this down, wife? Father knew you humans had bad memories, which is why he carved his commandments into stone. The least you could do is write this down. No matter, I'll have them carved in stone later. Number 8, you shall do any and everything I command you to do. As my wife, it is your duty to please me."

"Number 9, go to hell. I'm not following this crap nor am I writing any of it down."

"You're the woman, it's your duty to be submissive and pleasing. It's right here in this book you humans hold so much stock in.", he told her, throwing a Bible in her lap. "I suggest you study up on your duties, wife. Perhaps your refusal to do your womanly duty is why your marriage to Daniel went south faster than I did?"

"Lucifer, before I kill you, would you mind telling me where you get these out dated ludicrous ideas from and what's with constantly calling me 'wife' instead of 'detective' like you always have?

"Are you daft, I call you by your title? You are no longer a detective, you are my wife and you will be addressed as such. I thought you were brighter than that. Since you are no longer a detective or even employed for that matter, you will be addressed as wife. Get it, got it? Good. And don't get mad at me for following the rules, I didn't write that damn book."

What the hell are you talking about? I spoke to the Captain just yesterday. She put me on leave for 6 weeks", the rest of his explanation passing right over her head.

"Yes, yes. Your negotiation skills are some what lacking. I went in this morning and resigned you. As I told you, no wife of mine is going to run around Los Angeles playing cop with real bullets flying through the air. No, you must be kept safe at all times and raise your child. I'm not Dan, you don't need to work to provide for her. I have more than enough money to accommodate both of you."

"You! You insufferable pig. It was never about the money. You just took away my purpose in life! Do you realize what you've done to me? Of course you don't, it wasn't about you so you don't care. Why? Why do I keep ending up with assholes who try to control me?" She dropped to her knees and began to cry.

"Catching bad boys and girls is no purpose. Besides, that child should be your purpose, not closing the case. Leave punishing the wicked to me, it's kind of my duty."

His heart ached as he watched the sobs rack her body. Had he done the wrong thing? No, he refused to accept that. She would only wind up dying if she kept up this police work nonsense and he was not about to let that happen. She would probably shoot him in the balls later for it, though.

"Do you really expect me, the selfish creature that I am known to be, let the only being I have loved since my fall to die at the hands of some miscreant waste of oxygen while I stand idly by and do nothing?"

Oh Father help him, he had just admitted, out loud to Father above and everyone in his flat that he was in love with Chloe. Well, as he always told the humans, if you feel it, own it. That's what he was going to have to deal with. Satan had spoke his darkest secret. He loved a human, who was not staring at him with a mouth hung open a swollen eyes. Right, time for damage control. So, he did the only thing a devil could do, "Anyone up for a shot of Scotch or ten?"

Maze walked into the room holding a smiling Trixie's hand to survey they scene. Her boss looked like he wanted to dig a hole back to hell and hide there for a few eons and Chloe looked stunned. Anybody would really, if a man like Lucifer declared their love for them. Now that it was all out in the open, Maze wondered if there was a way to coax out Chloe's love for Lucifer. Come on, if the lady cop didn't feel something for him, she would be filing charges and throwing a fit. Maze still thought locking her in hell for a little while was a good idea. It would certainly give her time to sort out her feelings.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N I'm glad everyone is enjoying this and laughing as hard as I am as I write this. As usual, I'm just playing with the characters, they don't belong to me, sadly. This is going to be a bit longer chapter so bear with me please. RGP/ P.S. I'll be updating daily until I'm finished. If you have any questions or suggestions, shoot me a PM, unlike Maze I don't bite.

Chluciferforever this is for you. You gave me ideas..hehe./

"Chloe, can we talk for a minute? There's a few things I need to say to you", Maze said to the human woman who now sat with her knees pulled up to her chest and her arms around them.

"Sure, Maze. I was just thinking. Umm, what's up?"

Maze laughed, "Did you really just ask that? You humans are funny things. Listen, what happened a little while, you know, with what Lucifer said? He doesn't lie, ever, Chloe. He's all about owning it. He hasn't gave a shit about anyone or anything other than myself in a millennia. He loved himself above all else. Then you came along and turned him upside down and inside out, for reasons still unknown to me. It's not my place to say anything to you and he'll probably skin me for this but, Chloe, he loves you, with every atom of his being. Don't hurt him, I'd hate to have to hurt you. I just started liking you."

Chloe gave a small nod and stood slowly. She needed a shower and time to think, alone. In her mind, she had gone over everything that had happened since she had met Lucifer. Jimmy, Palmetto, Dan being hot and cold, everything. The only constant was Lucifer, he always had her back. He even carried her from a burning building. As she adjusted the temperature, she noticed the scar on her shoulder. It was deep and darker than the rest of her skin. She remembered one of the other detectives, who interviewed her in the hospital saying if it hadn't been for Lucifer, she would have bled to death. She ran her hands down over her stomach and hips where the new wounds. She had been shot with a high powered assault rifle and the only marks left from those were small white scars. What the hell? She stepped back to examine them closer and then she saw it, the perfect star of David the wounds made.

"Lucifer! I need you now!",Chloe screamed, almost having another panic attack.

The door flew open seconds later with a grinning Lucifer almost falling through, "I though you'd never ask. Ready to consummate this marriage now, in the shower, darling? I assumed you would want to be romanced. I've been studying online how to woo a stubborn woman, by the way."

His eyes traveled from her stricken face down her nude body until he saw it, too, "That son of a bitch! He marked your skin. No matter, you're still perfection, his best work. Let's get on with the good stuff."

Lucifer yanked off his belt faster than Chloe thought was humanly possible and dropped his trousers to the floor. His shirt was ripped away and the buttons flew off, one hitting Chloe in the eye. Suddenly, he was right in front of her and she hadn't even seen him move.

"What the hell are you doing, Lucifer?"

"You called me, love. Trust me, this will not be hell, no, 'twill be pure Heaven."

Before she could respond, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her. She wanted to hit him, lash out, make him stop, but dammit, she couldn't. His lips were magic. She couldn't control herself and jumped, wrapping her legs around his waist. He stumbled a bit before sitting her on the counter, their lips never losing contact.

Lucifer tried to put everything he felt into the kiss, to show her, make her feel it, too. When she moaned, it took every ounce of restraint he had to push away, to stop. This was not how he wanted it to be when he finally took his bride. He broke the kiss and stepped back. This wasn't the way.

"I'm sorry, dear one. I forgot I have a few other things I must do. We'll pick this discussion up later. There's something I need to check on."

With that, he was gone, pants in hand out of the door, closing it hard behind him. Chloe had never felt more rejected in her life. She wanted him right then and there and he walked away. Maybe he wasn't the sex god he made himself out to be. Maybe the scars turned him off and he was just trying to be polite. Too many maybes. With a shake of her head, she jumped down and tested the water in the shower to see if it was still warm. As she leaned up, she caught a glimpse of the scar on her belly. It was now glowing bright red, the star more than prominent. She screamed his name again as her vision swirled. Her last thought was a short prayer not to hit her head on the counter or toilet.

"What the Lord giveth, the Lord taketh away", the angel squealed gleefully.

"Raph, what are you doing, now?", Jesus questioned the archangel.

"Nothing much. Stopping another of Lucifer's temptations."

Jesus looked down into the human realm and saw Chloe, lying nude on the Lucifer's bathroom floor. She would be humiliated if anyone saw her this way so he took the towel hanging from the rack and wrapped it around her. He then gave the angel a dirty look. Father said no one was to interfere. If the woman could love Lucifer, he might be redeemable. Father was eyeing Amenadiel for the role of Satan these days anyway. He was much more corrupt. Father had even fed him false information twice and he ran straight to Lucifer with it. As if Father would ever be angry about the union between those two.

"Raph, you can't do this. She is innocent and Father has even marked her as saved. Now stop this nonsense before I do it for you."

One of heaven's fiercest angels stomped his feet and jumped up and down, having a temper tantrum, "It's not fair, Sami always gets his way."

"Be still, Father knows what's best. Now wake her up and leave her be. She hasn't been saved twice just for you to kill her out of jealousy. Angel, release your hold on her or perhaps you'd like to spend a few eons running Hell."

That was all it took for Raphael. The thought of being separated from Father and all of his brothers was too much. Moments later Chloe Morningstar woke up on the floor, coughing and choking. 3 times she had died and returned. The poor thing would be exhausted.

Maze went to check on Chloe, she had been in the bathroom over 2 hours now. No one took a shower that long. The damn human probably crawled through the bathroom window and ran away. If she had, there would be literal hell to pay.

Maze knocked on the door 3 times and got no response so she kicked the door open. She found the towel clad mortal on the floor coughing and trying to catch her breath. Well, at least she hadn't left.

"What happened to you? I didn't think you adult humans could drown in the shower."

"I have no idea. Everything went black."

Maze helped Chloe stand, making sure she was steady on her feet and able to walk. As, she did, the towel fell from Chloe and Maze saw it. This time it was glowing blue. She could also see why Lucifer was so into this chick. If only Chloe swung both ways. Maze licked her lips and turned her attention back to the star on the woman's abdomen.

"That is one funky tattoo, Decker, where did you get it?"

I don't have any tattoos, Maze. It seems to have been formed from the hollow point scars", Chloe explained, tracing the outline with her finger to show Maze what she meant.

"Shit! He marked you! Lucifer!"

For the second time that evening, Chloe had been told someone marked her. They both had to be out of their minds. It was just a few scars, nothing more. It wasn't even that bad, well except when it did that weird glowing thing which was probably a trick of the light. Maybe.

Drink in hand and a lit cigarette, Lucifer sat in his over sized leather chair, with headphones in his ears, drowning out the world. Father had laid one of his unholy markings on Chloe's sweet body. Lucifer didn't care what it meant, she was still delicious and very much alive, that was all that mattered.

The lyrics to the song filling his ears, he closed his eyes and imagined he and Chloe as the players in the song. He would never be a knight in shining armor but he was perfect for her. The yin to her yang if you will. He wanted to fulfill every dream she had and keep any nightmare at bay. Most of his flings were spur of the moment encounters but he found himself wanting more than that with her. Much more. Everything. He felt foolish for not taking her right there on the counter but he didn't want it to be that way. He wanted to give her something more. But he wanted her to give him something, too. Her heart. Would she ever tell him she loved him without the assistance of painkillers? If it came down to it, he would spike her drink just to hear her say it again. He was not above such things.

He picked up the sheath of papers next to him and grinned. He hadn't shown her these yet. She would most likely try to maim him when he did. No matter, it was for the best. He, like his father before him, always knew what was best for everyone. He said a silent thank-you to his Father for giving him his charm that he used to obtain the document in hand. When Dan signed the divorce papers, he also gave up his parental rights to Beatrice. Using all of his beguiling charms, he had talked the county official into letting him adopt his wife's child. He had all of his bases covered. If only he could make her see things his way. She was almost has hard headed as he was. It was one of her more endearing qualities. Soon, very soon, he would make her his in all ways. He just wondered what Father had in mind for her and that made him very nervous. What was going on here?

Maze laid Chloe in Lucifer's bed and pulled the covers up to the woman's chin. Maze gave a chuckle, she was sure this wasn't how Lucifer hoped Chloe would wind up naked in his bed. The human had passed out in Maze's arms as she left the bathroom and Maze easily carried her to the bed, appreciating the woman's body as she did. Lucifer would kill her for the way she was looking at Chloe but he wasn't in here so she was safe. Maze wondered absently for a moment if Chloe was into threesomes before she went in search of Lucifer.

"Maze, very nice to see you. To what do I owe the pleasure," Lucifer said, removing the earbuds and turning off his ipod.

"I put your wife to bed. She had passed out in the bathroom and then she passed out on me and I had to carry her to your room. I gotta say, I'm starting to see what you see in her. I almost took a lick of that tootsie pop."

No sooner had the words left her lips, Maze found herself pinned to the wall and the life being squeezed out of her body. Lucifer's true form showing, he growled in her face, "Never touch what is mine, every again. She is not for you", he said before dropping her on her ass and changing back.

Maze laughed. He was still the devil she adored, "Don't get such an ass ache, I said almost. I would have told you if I did. Besides, she doesn't swing my way. Too bad for me, she is one of the best built humans I've seen in a while."

Lucifer grinned with a spark in his eye and a crinkle of his nose, "She is, isn't she I think it's the Christ blood. He was a spectacular specimen."

"Maze, I have a question" Trixie said, not bothering to knock as she came in.

"What's wrong Trixie?", both demon and devil asked at the same time.

"Well, remember my fortune cookie from the Chinese food you gave me for dinner?"

"Yeah?", Maze said, not sure where this was going.

"Well, it said 'That was not chicken' but you told me it was orange chicken. So, what was it? Also, why did Lucifer turn into a big burnt baby a few minutes ago?"

Oh Bloody hell.

"Well, you see.."

Trixie gave a gap toothed grin, "I knew he wasn't lying. He never lies. He really is the devil."

No crying, no screaming, no fear. This child was truly an enigma. He couldn't help but wonder if her mother would take it the same way. He hadn't lied about it and had been telling her from day one. Wasn't his fault she didn't believe it.

Maze knelt in front of Trixie and took the child's hands in hers, He is but you can't tell anyone, okay. Think of it as his secret identity. Like a hero in comic books, alright? Now, you're in on the secret so you have to keep it to yourself so he can keep saving people, like Batman does."

"Can I tell mommy, she would help him save people? I also want her to arrest Lucifer's bald brother, too."

"You especially can't tell her. She's who Lucifer is saving right now, she just doesn't know it."

"My step-daddy is so much cooler than my sperm donor. He is the Christian Bale to Daddy's Ben Affleck, right? Don't worry, I won't tell….if you give me chocolate cake."

Maze looked up at Lucifer and rolled her eyes, "She really has been spending too much time around you, Lucifer."

The devil couldn't help but throw his head back and laugh, loudly. Maze was right. Trixie was really becoming what the humans like to call a 'mini'me'. He would mold the girl into his image, alright. As her new father, it was technically his job to show her the way after all and he knew he would be much better at it than Dan the Douche. Sir Summer's Eve was always too busy for the girl. He would have to break Trixie's habit of calling Dan daddy since Dan gave it all up. All he had to do was convince her mother.

"Give her a small piece and then it's off to bed. It's way past the heiress of hell's bedtime."

"Yes, Master", Maze said, sounding strangely like Renfield from the Dracula movies."Came along, spawn, I think you left some crumbs in the cake pan you haven't eaten yet."


	5. Chapter 5

A/n, there really is no method to my madness. I also have another idea for a story so might start that soon. Enjoy. xoxo RGP./

Chloe had kicked the blankets off as she slept and Lucifer was having no problem admiring the creature he called wife. He licked his lips watching her breathe. She had spectacular, natural breasts. He would make sure he told her so. The book he was reading said a man should compliment his wife often, even if it was just a compliment about her best assets. His eyes drifted lower and he sucked his lower lips. He wondered how she would respond to being woke up by his lips on he… well that might get him injured. He would have her when she was fully awake.

She began tossing in her sleep as if she was having a bad dream, "No, stop, you're hurting me, Dan, no, you're going to hurt the baby."

What the devil was this? Had the douche been even worse that Lucifer thought he was? Was that possible? Her movements became more erratic and she began kicking her feet. He decided it best to diffuse the situation and scrambled onto the bed, pulling her into his arms, "Shhh, now Chloe, no one is going to hurt you, not now, not ever."

Chloe latched on tightly to Lucifer and let her tears fall freely. It was always the same dream, the night Dan beat her so bad she passed out. She felt Lucifer's arms tighten around her and she looked up at him, "I'm sorry. I had a bad dream is all", she said wiping her face.

"I could see that. What was it about, love? You scared me for a moment."

"Nothing important, Lucifer. What time is it?"

"Gone half past midnight, you've been asleep just over 6 hours. Now, wife, why don't you tell me what had you so afraid."

"It's was nothing, silly really. Just forget it."

"If it was nothing, as you say, why were you crying and telling Dan to stop hurting you and the baby? You were talking, darling."

Chloe sighed deeply and hung her head. Lucifer heard it, huh. Well, that would just give him another reason to think less of her. He already found her body so repulsive, he walked away from her after months of begging for sex. She decided to just tell him the truth and get it over with. He was persistent, she had to give him that. The rock on her finger was evidence.

"When I was 3 months pregnant with Trixie, right after we got married, Dan came home from the pub, really drunk. He said he had been to a doctor for a physical and they called him that morning and told him he was sterile. He claimed Trixie wasn't his and wanted to know who I had been screwing behind his back. I denied it, because I hadn't done that. I wouldn't do that. A vow taken is sacred. Anyway, he started punching me and kicking me in the stomach. I called 9-1-1 and they sent over Malcolm to investigate. Well, you know what a real piece of work he was and he wrote it up as a domestic dispute, nothing ever happened after that. Well, ever since that night, I have had this nightmare where he beats me like he did, but shoots me afterwards. Nothing with us was the same after that night and when he cheated with that bimbo, all he could say was I cheated first and he's had to raise another man's kid so I should shut up and take him back. I tried, Lucifer, dammit, I tried but, I think, since that night, I had no more feelings for that man. He made sure to let me know I wasn't good enough anyway. No matter what I did."

Lucifer pulled her close and kissed her, trying to convey her worth to him. She would have to be shown how precious to him she was and her child as well. Maybe she would be more receptive to his adoption of Trixie than she previously thought.

"Listen, there's something I need to tell you. If you wish to shoot me, you may do so afterwards, I'll even have maze get you a gun. Let me finish before you decide if you're angry with me or not. If you want, we can reverse the action later."

"You're scaring me just a little, Lucifer. What have you done and what does it have to do with what I just told you?

"Well, at first, in the hospital, you were badly hurt. They didn't think you were going to make it. You almost died because of those hell bound gang bangers. Well, Dan had already divorced you and the lousy git also signed away his parental rights to Trixie. Your mother was incommunicado and that left me. I had to work fast and do something drastic so your daughter wasn't handed over to a Nebraska farmer foster family or be inadvertently lost to some child trafficking ring. So, I used my mojo on a county clerk and adopted your daughter. I took our marriage license down and got it done in a matter of minutes, instead of years. If I had lost you, you would at least be in heaven knowing your daughter was safe with Maze and I."

Chloe didn't know what to say. She was on the fence between kissing his lips and kissing his feet. The man, all on his own, had chose to save her child. He was right, she could have died, should have died. He was ready to give up his lifestyle for her daughter. Maybe she should give him a chance. What was the worst that could happen?

She stood, forgetting her nudity and wrapped her arms around his neck, "You irritating, shallow, self absorbed, wonderful, loving, caring man. Thank-you for being there for us. I can't believe you did all of that."

"I can fix it all if you want. We can even divorce if you wish. I don't want you to think you have to be here with me."

"You bastard, you're not getting rid of me that easily."

"Then tell me wife, what is it you most desire?"

Chloe licked her lips and pressed her body to his as he wound his arms around her, "I want, hmm."

"Yes, yes, tell me what you need."

I need..dinner, I'm freaking starving. I can't remember the last time I ate."

"Wicked temptress. Get dressed..or don't and we'll get you something to eat. Wouldn't want you withering away on me", he said releasing his hold on her slightly.

"I could stand to lose a few pounds. It would be good for me."

Lucifer raised an eyebrow at her comment and looked her up and down, "Surely you jest? You're perfect just the way you are. There is no way I could or would want you to change anything about yourself."

She dropped her hands to her hips and tilted her head, "If I'm perfect, why did you totally reject me earlier? Was the inside of the package not as pretty without the gift wrap? Too many marks on the canvas? I have bullet holes and stretch marks, I can't be perfect but nice try."

Lucifer blew out a huff of air and pulled the woman back into his arms with a smirk, "You incorrigible, hard headed female, you're stunning and very perfect for me. I didn't ravish your body this afternoon because when you finally come to me, I don't want our first time to be in the bathroom. I want something more for you. I have waited this long to have you, I can wait a bit more, not forever, but a bit more. You're worth it to me."

Tears pooled in the corner of Chloe's eyes and she dove into Lucifer's arms, "You're such an ass, but I love you."

Lucifer kissed her hard, then. She had said it of her own free will, without the courage drugs can give to a human. Now, he saw why Father gave the mortals a choice. It wasn't so they could do what they wanted, it was so they were free to love.

"Well, come along. You need food and I want you to rest some more. Maze told me about that spill you took on the tiles. What happened there anyway?"

"If I told you, you wouldn't believe me."

"Try me, you'd be astounded by the things I would believe."

"Like believing you're the devil?"

"There is that, but right now, this isn't about me. Tell me what happened."

Chloe explained about the star and how it got hot and red. Then she told him she prayed a little to not hit her head. But the weirdest thing about it was, while she knew she was unconscious, she could hear people talking, possibly even arguing and how someone named Raph was to release her. Then when Maze found her, the scars were no longer glowing or red, they were lit up blue.

"Did you see the ones talking or did they sound like they were in another room, perhaps?"

"No, it was over so fast even though Maze said I had been out for two hours."

"Don't take this the wrong way, but lie down, I want to inspect you. I shouldn't have taken this so lightly earlier and for that I am sorry."

"What's wrong, you have that look on your face again."

"I'm not sure yet, but I think my family is trying to interfere. No worries, let's have a look at your boo-boos, shall we."

Chloe obeyed and went to lie back on the bed. Lucifer bit his lip and inhaled deeply, forcing himself to focus on something besides that little piece of heaven at the crux of her legs. He had to distract himself. Be an ass, that will work, always does.

"Well, look who's learning her place and listening to her husband's orders."

"And just like that, he ruins it."

"Darling, you're going to have to stop being so snarky. You have the love and honor bit down, but you still struggle with the obeying. Now, let me look. I won't bite, well, unless you ask me to",Lucifer said trailing a finger over her hip bone, the look on his face reminding her of a lion staring down a gazelle.

If Chloe rolled her eyes any harder, she would be looking at her brain. What did he find so fascinating about her naked body anyway? He had been to bed with models, rock stars, actresses, all of them surely were better than her. She was frigid, as Dan always said.

Something about the way he was touching her skin was driving her insane in the good way. His touches were feather light but they awoken something in her she never felt before. She closed her eyes and concentrated on what he was doing, silently hoping he would touch lower. When he didn't, she growled in frustration just as Maze walked in.

"Got a bit of demon in you, Decker? I haven't heard a growl like that in the last 5 years. Sounds like she wants something you're not giving her Lucifer."

"Don't you ever knock, Maze?", Lucifer asked, frustrated as Chloe yanked the blanket over her body, ashamed Maze saw her like that.

He knew exactly what he was doing to his wife. He knew how to read cues from women and was sure of how he had affected her. The sheet she was lying on would need to be changed when she got up.

"Sorry to break this up but the kid is puking chocolate and I'm not cleaning it."

"I'm so sorry, Maze. Let me put some clothes on and I'll be right there to clean her mess. God, I'm sorry."

"What are you apologizing to him for, it wasn't his marble tile that got the regurgitated cake treatment. You stay right here, I'll sort the mess and be back in a bit. We will continue where we left off."

"Wow, okay, umm, alright", Chloe mumbled, at a loss for words.

As the two immortals left the room, Trixie stumbled in like drunk with a hangover, "Hi, mommy. I upchucked."

"Yeah, I heard, looks like you're going to have to go on the wagon now."

"What wagon? A red one?"

"No, pumpkin, it means it's time to take a break from cake."

"I'm never eating cake again. Never.

Listening at the door, Maze elbowed Lucifer, "Told you over doing the cake would make her sick of it. Now, maybe we can feed her real food, the kind growing humans need."

"Yes, yes, but did you have to induce the puke fest tonight of all nights? Chloe was absolutely drenched and wanting me. I was inches away from fulfilling my need for her. Now we're mopping vomit and listening at the door like a couple of...humans."

"Well, at least you're not bored", Maze said with a grin and walked away, leaving Lucifer to deal with the mess all alone. Hey, they were his family, he would have to learn.

He absentmindedly pushed the lemon scented cleaner on the mop over the mess and put his ear back to the door. Those two loved each other more than anything and they both loved him. He still didn't know how he felt about that. The last one to profess love to him ended up having his brother throw him out of Heaven. Would Chloe throw him away one day, too? No, that wasn't her way. Look how long she dealt with the abusiveness of the douche. Lucifer knew one thing, if nothing else, she would never come to harm at his hand. Unless it was a bit of light BDSM, of course.

Trixie on the bed next to her mother, with an odd look on her face, "Mommy, I have to tell you a secret about Lucifer. It could change everything."

Lucifer froze, he couldn't speak or move. This was it, the moment he had been dreading. He should have known not to trust a child with his secret. Now she was going to tell her mother and Chloe would lose her mind. He would lose them both because of an angry moment. Maze would be punished.

"What could you possibly have to tell me about Lucifer that would change things? Is it that he's the devil?"

"No mommy, that's just silly, this is much worse. I found out something horrible about him today, when Maze let me use his iPod. Mommy, it was full of boy bands. Lucifer likes One Direction, Take That, Nsync , Backstreet Boys and New Kids on the Block. He even likes 98 degrees. Mommy, we have to have an intervention or make him get therapy."

"Baby, we can't judge Lucifer for his taste in music. As long as he doesn't break out in song and tells us what makes us beautiful, I think it will be okay. He is the way he is and that can't be changed. Remember Dan's fondness for Nickelback? That was way worse. What if someone judged you for your 80s music collection?"

"They would be dummies to do that. Everybody knows the 80s were the last decade real music was produced in. Mommy, we have to help him! He has great taste in everything else. I knew he had to have a flaw, no one is that good."

Lucifer was on his knees laughing, that child considered his taste in music much worse than being Satan. Oh, this was rich. Suddenly, he felt bad for doubting Beatrice for a moment. She, like her mother, always had his back. A plan was also forming in his head. Tomorrow, little Beatrice was going to be justly punished for questioning his taste. If there was one thing he could do well, it was punish.

He decided to return to his bedroom and usher the child back to bed. She was going to need all of her energy for what he had planned for her. He kept his face still as he approached Mother and daughter.

"Alright, crisis averted, back to bed with you, monster", turning to Chloe with an exasperated look, "Who knew such small creatures could hold so much in their tiny bellies."

"Welcome to parenthood, Lucifer," Chloe said, hiding her grin.

"Right", he said. "Good night poppet."

"Alright, but before I go, can I ask you a question, Lucifer?"

"You just did, but alright, then, what do you desire to know, child?

"Tomorrow, if you have time, can Mommy and I talk to you, it's kind of important."

Lucifer bent down and picked up the girl, looking her right in the eye,"I will always have time to talk to you. No compromise. Remember what I told you at your mother's bedside. You'll always have me, love, no matter what. Now off to bed with you and no more wretching. Next time, Maze will have to do the cleaning and she hates that with a passion. Who knows what she may do to you?"

Trixie grinned and kissed his cheek, "Okay, daddy."

He sat her on her feet and watched her run from the room. She had called him daddy the same night Chloe said she loved him. Things were looking up. He was still going to punish the girl, he just had to make a few phones to get the job done.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N This one is going to be a bit spicier than the previous 5, it is Chapter 6, after all. The devil may finally get his due...or not. We'll have to see where Maze takes me. (also, I too, am an ass) Changed the rating to M, just to be safe. Well, here we go. Vicky73...darling this is for you!/

Chloe's ringing phone woke her up at six in the morning. After an evening of slow torture from Lucifer and Trixie tossing her literal cookies, she was still bone tired. Who would be calling her at this hour anyway?

"Decker", she answered out of habit.

"Chloe, it's me, Dan. You know, your ex-husband."

Chloe smirked and hung up the phone, tossing it in the glass of water by the bed. It was time to upgrade her phone anyway. Just like she had upgraded her husband. She laid back down and rolled to her side, looking at the sleeping man next to her, who was currently snoring like his proverbial Albanian field wench. Pot meet kettle, Chloe thought. He was well, beautiful, while he slept. It helped that he wasn't awake to make any of his smart ass remarks. He was shirtless and on his stomach with his face towards her. Without thinking, she ran the backside of her hand over his cheek bone. How could any man be so gorgeous? It wasn't fair. Her eyes then traveled to the scars on his back. He had told her previously, they were from him telling Maze to cut his wings off. She also remembered the hurt and fear in his eyes when he asked her not to touch them. She wondered what kind of father he had that could torment his son so badly, he would self-harm. She held her hand over the marks on his back, wanting so badly to see what they felt like but it would probably wake him up. The need to know was stronger than worrying about the consequences. First, she barely touched the top of the scar. It felt hot to the touch but then, he always ran just a bit warmer than most people, so that didn't concern her. Next, she timidly laid her palm over the full mark closest to her. He didn't move, so biting her lip, she rubbed her palm in a small circle over it. Next thing she knew she was pinned under Lucifer.

"Darling, I don't mind if you fondle me but at least warn a devil first."

"I'm sorry. I was just so curious. I need to know what it feel like."

"Well, if all you want to know is how it feels, open those pretty legs a bit and I can show you."

Chloe scoffed, he was never one to beat around the bush, especially when he wanted to beat around her bush. Oh, god, he had her doing it too. Rat bastard.

"How about we make a deal, wife? I let you touch my scars and you let me touch every single inch of you with my tongue?"

Son of a bitch. Now he had her thinking about his tongue and all the glorious things he could do with it. It would be worth it just to see what those marks felt like but she knew if she gave in, he would want more than just that. He would want the full meal deal and she wasn't sure if she was ready for that, yet. Her body screamed yes, please, but her mind said beware. What if she wasn't what he thought or she couldn't please him? Maybe she should just tell him how she felt and see what he thought. He was blunt and honest, maybe she should be more open with him, too.

"As appealing as that sounds, Lucifer, I don't think I'm ready for that, just yet."

He let her wrists go and rolled onto his side, hand supporting his head as he scanned her face, "Why pray tell, do you always reject my advances? What did Defective Douche do to you in the marriage bed that has you so turned off to your new husband? Tell me so I can justify making him a eunuch."

Time to be bold and brash, Chloe. She took his hand and guided it between her legs, letting him feel how much she responded to him, "See, my body says yes, but my mind keeps chiding me, telling me I'm not good enough for you. That I'm not experienced enough to make you happy."

"You've had a child, you can't tell me you're a virgin."

"That's not what I meant. Let me explain. Before Dan, I was a virgin. He was really sweet and when we finally did it, it was over before I had even got started. He and I did it a few more times and I hoped it would be better than the last but it was in and out, I'm done, fall asleep kind of thing. I really don't know anything about sex, Lucifer and I don't think I could make you happy in bed."

"The douche treated your body like an In-and-out burger? He didn't worship you like the goddess you are? Oh, darling, you have been so neglected. I'm going to ask you a question and I want, no, I demand an honest answer. When was the last time douche drove through, if you will?"

Chloe looked at the floor before answering, "6 weeks before I gave birth to Trixie."

"Oh, my poor neglected darling. 8 years is a long time. How do you cope? Do you have toys or something to fill the void?"

"I just put it out of my mind. I really don't have time to think about that. Though there were a few dreams I had that kind of pushed me over the edge."

"Oh, do tell."

"No, Lucifer. That's not something you share with the subject of your dream."

"It was about me? Then let me make your dream a reality, love. I'm much better in the flesh."

"Soon, okay, Lucifer. Just give me a little more time."

"I hope 7pm tonight is long enough, I've booked a hotel room for our honeymoon. This loft is a bit crowded. We're having special guests today to perform for your daughter and Maze."

Chloe inhaled deeply, she had roughly 12 hours to prepare herself for Lucifer. Was that long enough? She guessed it would have to be. She couldn't keep putting him off and if she was honest with herself, she didn't want to. She stood, her muscles sore and her body in need of a good scrub. She was also going to have to shave.

"What in God's name do you have planned for my child? I swear, if you traumatize her, you'll never get any of this", she said, running her hands over her body.

"Don't drag my dad into this anymore than he has to be, woman. But, please continue to touch yourself for me, preferably lying back on the bed."

"So, you want me to do all the work, huh? Typical male."

Lucifer was on her in seconds,"There's nothing typical about me, sweeting, nothing at all."

"You'll have to prove it to me, tonight. Two ears too many here. Oh, I forgot to tell you, Dan called, that's what woke me up. Umm, I think I'm going to have to go buy a new phone", she said pointing to the glass at her bedside.

Lucifer shook his head at his bride, she was a little firecracker, "What did he want?"

"Who knows, I didn't give him a chance to speak. You know, all those rules you gave me and what-not."

"She's learning, Father in heaven, she's learning."

Maze knocked on the door hard, I' m not coming in because I don't know what the hell you two are doing but a few of your guests have arrived and Trixie is waking up. You better get your ass out here and do whatever you're going to do."

"Get dressed, wife. Chop, chop. We have guests to entertain."

"Who and what are you doing?"

"You'll just have to see, come along."

Chloe entered the room now filled with 15 guys, all of them kind of familiar but she couldn't for the life of her, place them. Trixie was blindfolded and sat in Lucifer's favorite chair.

"Gentlemen, this girl is the reason you have all been called here. I trust the payments I made wwere more than sufficient to cover your expenses and fees? Right, this child is Beatice and she hates you. She may be your biggest hater, ever. You're going to sing to her and make her see the light."

A few of the guys nodded, paying attention to what Lucifer was saying but one of them kept eyeing Chloe and licking his lips. Eww. She decided this was the perfect time to go make coffee and asked if anyone else needed anything. Most of them shook their head no and Chloe could see a couple sweating bullets and looking very nervous. All but that one guy, his eyes never left her. Creepy and cringy.

As she pressed brew, she felt hot breath on her neck, "Hi, I'm Harry Styles", he said in a thicker English accent that Lucifer's. Oddly, it did not affect her like her husband's did.

Chloe stuck out her hand to shake his, "I'm Mrs Morningstar. How did you get out of school to be here today?"

He gave her a smile and laughed a little, "Love, I'm 22 years old. Do you not follow us? I'm in the biggest boy band in the world. I'm sure your daughter is a big fan. Otherwise, we wouldn't be here."

Poor bastard, he must not know Lucifer that well at all. Did he not hear what Lucifer just said. Chloe gave him a smile that could almost be considered evil, though he didn't realize it. He was going to be in for a rude awakening.

"Yeah, something like that. Look, I have to go get ready for the day. Big plans later. It was nice to meet you."

"Oh, no, no. That just won't do. You don't walk away until I say you can. Now, why don't you unbutton that dress and let us see the goodies", he said reaching out to her.

"Lucifer, Maze, somebody, help me!", she screamed.

It was all a blur until she realized Maze and Lucifer were on the man-boy. "Tsk, tsk, young Harry. You never, ever touch what's mine. The result is most often fatal."

The noises from the living room over powered Lucifer as they heard several men screaming and begging to make it stop.

"What in the devil is going on in there? Maze you and Chloe go see. I'll deal with this. Mommy should have swallowed you, really."

Maze and Chloe ran into the living room to see tiny Trixie on Joey Fatone's back, biting his ear as she kicked a New Kid in the head. Maze grinned, she certainly trained the child well. A little too well. The rest of the boybanders had ran for the door rather than deal with a foaming at the mouth Trixie.

She jumped on the New Kid, kicking him in the chin, "That's for ruining music and using auto-tune."

Chloe grabbed her daughter off the man before she could do any real damage. Before Chloe could apologize, the men ran away. What if they go to the police? She would have a lot of explaining to do. She didn't want her baby getting into trouble this early in life.

As if reading her mind, Maze wrapped an arm around Chloe, "Don't worry, none of them will go to the police. They know who made them what they are today. Besides, how would they explain getting their asses handed to them by a little girl? Now isn't it time for you to go get ready to hand your ass to Lucifer? I'll take care of our little hellion, she's my charge today."

Maze was right, she did have a lot to do before tonight so instead of arguing like she usually would or reading Trixie the riot act for her behavior, she decided to let it slide, this time. Just for this. Those guys were probably just as bad as the one who accosted her in the kitchen anyway. What a creep! She watched as Maze took her daughter's hand and led her to the sofa a few feet away.

"So, kid, what made you go all cannibal on that guy?"

Trixie looked the demon right in the eye,"He started singing, that was all it took."

"You're more like your step-dad than you realize. Come on, let's watch that movie you like so much about that fish with Alzheimer's."

"YAY! Dory is so cool."

"And Chloe, he likes that Vanilla you use in your hair. Just a suggestion."

Lucifer was about to dismember the boy when Amenadiel landed next to him and surveyed the scene before him.

"Why do always show up and spoil all of my fun?"

"I'm not here to spoil it, I'm here to help you. Heaven took a great offense to this punk. I'm to deliver him to hell and punish him right away. Seems you have things to do today that more important than having fun with this prick."

"Interesting. Well, alright, but just this once. Make sure he knows what he is being punished for. No one touches my princess and lives to tell the tale."

"Exactly. One thing before I go, you might want to call someone soon about fixing that giant hole in the floor under him. Would hate for Chloe or the child to hurt themselves", the bald angel said lifting the petrified boybander from the floor.

"Careful, Meni, he shat himself more than a few times."

"You showed him your face, didn't you?"

"Possibly, maybe, alright, yes."

"That will always do it", the angel said as he dropped the man boy on his head, snapping his neck. The angel went stiff for a moment and gave Lucifer a nod,"He's there, I must go before something else gets a hold of him. Before I go, Father says to tell you tonight will change everything."

With that he flew away, not giving Lucifer a chance to ask questions. Why must his bloody family interrupt everything? They never cared before, why now? Then he remembered Chloe's bloodline and who her greatest grandfather was. Maybe it was time he had a taste of that holy grail. Would she notice if her sunk his fangs in her neck at the height of passion? He would just have to make sure she was distracted.

5:00, it was only 5:00. Perhaps he should take her for a meal before retiring to their suit. That would kill time. She was currently watching some horrid movie with little yellow pills that kept hollering about bananas. The child seemed amused by it and so did Maze for the record, but Chloe looked nervous. More than once, she had even sniffed her arm pits and the front of the red dress she wore. The dress that was going to be in pieces on the floor if he had any thing to say about it.

"Come along wife, time to sup. It states in the marriage contract that it is my duty to feed you."

"Alright but nothing heavy okay. I'd hate to go into a food coma tonight."

"You could always have an espresso after your meal or a red bull. You might need it to keep up with me. I'm famous for my stamina."

The meal went by quickly, with Chloe opting for a salad and pasta while Lucifer downed several shots of scotch. He was nervous. Well, this was a new feeling. None of his prior conquests made him feel butterflies in his stomach. Rodrigo, the owner of the restaurant sent Tiramisu and espresso out for dessert. Chloe had never had the rich confection before and moaned in delight as the food passed her lips. Lucifer twitched in his pants. Soon, old man, soon.

Lucifer tried to pay but Rodrigo insisted the meal was a gift. Rodrigo owed Lucifer many favors. The two men shook hands and the couple departed, on their way to the honeymoon suit at the Bel-Air hotel in Beverly Hills.

Lucifer checked them in as the girl behind the desk did everything but climb over the counter and drool on him. Very unprofessional. Chloe wanted to scratch the woman's eyeballs out and make a shish kabob with them. He finally managed to wrestle the room key from the wench and guided Chloe away from the counter with his hand at the small of her back,"Come on darling, I don't think I can wait any longer to see that dress on the floor." He gave the forlorn looking desk clerk a smile, "We don't want to be disturbed, thanks"

"Bitch", Chloe said under her breath.

"Don't be jealous, darling. Or do, I find it suits you."

They took the elevator up to the penthouse floor and stepped out into the most gorgeous room Chloe had ever seen. The bed took up half the suit and the bathroom had a huge sauna tub. It was a little bit of heaven on earth.

The door barely closed and Lucifer opened his arms wide, "Come to me darling."

She was in his arms instantly. She was tired of denying she wanted him or letting the past hold her back from enjoying the now. Every wall she had built to protect herself came crashing down as his lips touched hers.

His hands were in her hair, down her back, cupping her ass. He couldn't get close enough. No one had ever had this effect on him. This was even different from the previous kisses they had shared. There was a primal hunger underneath it all.

"Naked now", was all she could manage to say. She didn't want to break the kiss. It was too intoxicating.

Breaking free for a moment he studied her face. Her eyes were hooded with desire and she was panting. With one swift motion of his hand, her dress was on the floor, leaving her in only a black bra and panties. The stark contrast against her skin made him instantly harder than he had ever been in his whole existence. She dropped to her knees and began undoing his belt.

"Not yet, love. Let me savor you first. I've waited far too long for this moment to rush this."

"No waiting, I need you now."

"You'll have me soon enough. Don't be greedy, my love. Let me enjoy this."

She bit her lip and nodded as he led her to the bed and sat her down. He stood back and held out his hand, "Foot, please."

She leaned back on her elbows and raised her leg. He undid the buckle that her heel on. The sight of her panties, that barely covered her was almost too much for him. She moaned in surprise as his lips wrapped around her big toe before he grinned at her, "Alright, the other now."

She complied and he repeated same technique. She never took him for a foot man but she was obviously wrong. She would never admit it out loud, but dammit, she liked that and was a little disappointed when he stopped.

He spun the shoe on his finger before dropping it next to it's mate. God, she was magnificent. Father had surely put in extra time in her creation. He didn't know how much longer he could hold out but he had to show her there was more to making love than what she had ever known.

"Up on the pillows now, my lady"

She scooted up and laid back, her hair spread out around her. In the dim light of the bedside lamp, she looked like an angel. He wanted to devour every inch of her. How to do this without losing control? He climbed up on the bed and took each side of her panties in hand and she instinctively lifted her bottom for him to take them off, but he ripped the flimsy lace instead.

"I'm going to be going home naked if you keep ripping my things up, Luci."

"I'll order you something from the concierge. Now be still for me and no talking."

She nodded and watched as he leaned over her, his arms wrapping around her. She felt his lips on her neck, then her collar bone. His mouth was magic. Her bra was ripped open from the front and his mouth was at her breast, sucking the sensitive skin. She moaned and arched her back. Shit, he's amazing and they had barely started. He reluctantly released the now swollen bud, kissing his way down her stomach. When he kissed the inside of her thigh, Chloe was done for. She knew what was coming but was afraid, no one had ever explored her like this. His tongue found her and after several laps, something in her broke and she screamed his name, bucking and twisting as she rode out the pleasure he gave her. He lifted his head and gave her satisfied smile.

His pants were now gone and he was stroking himself with his hand as he looked at her flushed body and the silken wetness between her legs, "Ready for me, darling"

She nodded, unable to speak. He was huge and she needed him inside of her now. If she didn't have him in her soon, she was going to push him over and mount him on her own, "Please", she managed to whisper.

His shirt landed on the headboard as he pushed inside of her, "Oh, Father in heaven",he moaned. She was so tight. He had never felt anything like it. She fit him perfectly. He found her lips and her legs wrapped around his hips as her arms wrapped around his back. He felt her skin touch his scars but he didn't even care. He was finally were he belonged, inside of Chloe, his wife.

"I need more, faster, harder, please. The pressure is building. Help me", she moaned.

He had wanted it to be gentle and loving but it seemed his wife wanted fucking. He leaned back on his knees and took her legs in his hands, opening them as wide as they could go before throwing them over his shoulders. He slammed into her and she screamed his name again. Harder and faster, her wish was granted and soon he was throwing his head back and screaming at heaven, "Mine, do you fuckers hear me, all mine", he growled as he filled her full of his seed. He then sunk his fangs into her neck, forever marking her as his.

Chloe, in the throws of ecstasy, was shaking beneath him,"No hickeys Lucifer.

He licked his lips and pulled away, the divinity in her blood coursing through his system. He flipped her over with one hand and entered her from behind. Rougher than he had planned but all romance flew out of the window when she begged for more. She was soon on her knees, watching him take her in the mirror by the bed. It was so erotic and hot watching him have his way with her body. She was going to be sore in the morning. He gave her bottom a slap watching it bounce as he buried himself deep inside of her.

She fell over with him later, both exhausted. He was more than he made himself out to be. She kicked herself for denying him for so long. She could have had it like this all of the time. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her hard,"You're all mine now. I'll never let you go. Tell me you're mine, I want to hear you say it, wife."

"Only if you tell me you're mine, too."

"I am yours, Chloe. I have been for a while. You just didn't know it."

"I'm yours, too. Lucifer. I'm ruined for other men."

"You better be, I'd hate to think of what I may do if you weren't."

He held her close until she fell asleep. He said a silent prayer to father and thanked him for the woman in his arms. She was his perfect mate.

He slid her out of his arms and pulled the blankets over her. She was chilly now that the sheen of sweat covering her had cooled. Couldn't have her getting sick on him, now could he?

"I love you, Chloe. More than you will ever realize."


	7. Chapter 7

A/n Not really a note, just a massive thank-you to the people reading this. I hope you continue to enjoy. There's some things my Luci does that don't quite coincide with the show Lucifer, but I think, if the writers could fully unleash him, it would be something like mine. Anyways, enjoy. /

Despite the Do Not Disturb Tag on the door, the hotel maid entered pushing her cart without so much as a knock. She surveyed the room and crossed herself, looking at the broken lamps. The headboard of the bed was now impaled in the wall and Chloe was sprawled in a chair, her legs still hung over each arm. Lucifer was on the balcony smoking and noticed the movement in his room. He was back inside, standing guard in front of his wife.

"Oh, hello, can you not read? Now, get out", he said covering Chloe's intimate parts from the prying eyes of housekeeper."

He flashed his eyes at her a moment and she ran out screaming a litany of prayers to his father. It never got old and amused him to no end. The true believers frightened so easily, believing all the lies told about him over the centuries. It's not like anyone would believe her if she told them what she saw. He would have to pay for the damages to the room, of course. Chloe did indeed have move that made the devil blush. Round 2 was extraordinary. Once she came out of her shell, she took total control. He was having a hard time keeping up with her, not that he would ever admit that out loud.

He looked down at his bride and took pity upon her. She couldn't walk after round 5 last night and pleaded with him to just leave her in the chair as she fell asleep. He picked her up and laid her on the bed. She was going to be stiff from sleeping like that. She was everything he ever wanted, except for that whole being able to kill him or get him killed. He decided to experiment and see just how vulnerable he was now.

He found his trousers half way across the room and pulled his knife from his pocket. He toyed with it for a moment before flicking the blade out. He closed his eyes and ran the blade across his palm just like he had done many time before. Nothing, no cut. What the devil? This was a rather startling development. Had his immortality been restored?

"It's too hot in this five star hell hole" Chloe shouted, throwing the comforters to the floor.

Lucifer laughed at stroked her brow, remembering the time she was drunk and all over him and he turned her down. She would never understand why he didn't take advantage of her at her most vulnerable state. Even then, he loved her. He was devil enough to admit it, now.

He reached over and turned the in room Air Conditioner on. He loved the modern conveniences, like A/C, running water, all the good things these mortals take for granted. Humans really didn't understand how good they had it now compared to when they were first created.

Speaking of created, his father's most perfect creation was now sitting up and staring at him. Her mascara had run during her sleep, her lipstick was a smeared red stain across her face and her hair was a mess but Lucifer still hadn't seen anything more breathtaking.

"Hi", she said shyly.

Was she embarrassed by her behavior the night before? Well, he couldn't have that. Perhaps she was waiting for him to berate her like Dan had done? Well, no matter, he wasn't Dan and he would show her she had nothing to fear.

"Good morning, my vixen. I hope you're not too sore. I did try to be as gentle as possible but you didn't seem to like that. What was that you said? Ah, yes I recall now, I believe it was 'Gimme more, Luci, fill me up', you minx, I never knew you were so flexible. Were you a gymnast before you joined the force?" He watched as the delicious red flush colored her cheeks. "No matter, I'm not ever going to complain about that. I'll be more than glad to satisfy your every whim, and I do mean every."

Chloe raised an eyebrow, that was not what she was expecting at all. She was sure he was going to complain or say he wasn't satisfied. Instead he seemed delighted. She had tried so hard to make sure he enjoyed it, maybe it worked.

"Wow, that's something coming from you. So, what are we now? I know we're married and part of that is monogamy, but can you even do monogamy? Will I be enough for you?"

She was still so insecure he thought. He would just have to reinforce all of his prior compliments and show her his love. Besides, other women or men for that matter could never make him feel the way she did. They were merely receptacles for his lust.

"Oh, darling, do you even have to ask. You're more than enough. In so many ways."

"If you cheat on me, I'll shoot you. Be warned."

"How, when you don't have your service revolver, anymore?"

"Who said that was the only gun I own? Now help me up and into the shower. I don't think I can walk on my own."

"No words that have ever passed my ears have pleased me more than that. Well, besides you saying you really love me. We'll have to keep shagging, you know, other wise you'll end up stiff."

"Well, join me in the shower, I'll need help washing myself."

"I don't know if that's such a good idea, darling. Look around you, we destroyed this room. I'd hate to tear down a shower. I'll go broke paying for repairs."

Chloe gave him a sly look and sauntered towards the restroom, she held up a hand and winked at him,"I guess I can just use these, then", she said wiggling her fingers.

"Like bloody hell you will, your digits can't replace me."

She licked her lips,"Prove it", she whispered running into the bathroom.

What kind of monster had he created? Was she becoming one of those sex addicts or was she simply addicted to him? Either way, he would benefit greatly. Or his penis would break. Glutton for punishment her was, he chased her into the shower, finding her running soapy hands all over her chest and stomach.

"Round 6 it is."

"Are you keeping count of how many time we.."

"Yes, as a matter of fact I am."

"Perv. Come wash my back."

He ended up washing more than her back. He washed every inch of her after he got her filthy. She was so spent by the time he was finished, he had to carry her back to bed. When Lucifer tried to lie her down, she wouldn't let go of his neck. She kissed him hard and in her sleepy voice, she told begged him to never leave her. As if that would happen.

"Not going anywhere, love."

She mumbled something and rolled onto her side. He decided to call Maze and check on the spawn for Chloe then he was going to order something from room service. She had to be hungry after all of that. Come to think of it, he was a wee bit famished himself.

The phone rang twice before Maze answered, "How was she? As promising as you hoped?"

"More than that. She felt indescribable and her taste was impeccable. You can actually taste the Christ blood in her. Maze I cut myself and didn't bleed. I think I'm back to my old self."

"Well, well. This is good news. What do you intend to do now? Are you really going to stay married to her. It's ruining your rep."

"Hello, Satan. My rep. was ruined eons ago. Of course, I'm going to stay married to her. She belongs to me, now. And, if I recall correctly, which I do, so do you. Why are you questioning me, yet again?"

"It's bad for business, you're supposed to seem aloof but available and knowing Chloe, like I do, you'll no longer be available."

"What would you have me do Maze? Really?"

"I don't know, maybe you could share her, so I don't feel so left out."

"Not. Happening."

"You're getting soft on me, Lucifer."

"Perhaps. My hardness seems to be only for Chloe at the moment. Anyhoo, how's the spawn doing? Chew on any more boybanders in my absence?"

"No, but she did take a few swings at Amenadiel when he stopped by. I kicked his ass for her."

"Did he come with a heavenly message?", Lucifer asked chuckling at the image now in his head of the girl attacking his massive brother.

"Maybe he had one, but he didn't tell us. He was too busy guarding his face from claws. She really went after him. I was expecting her to flash red eyes for a moment. She reminds me more of you everyday."

"Well, she is learning from the best. You and I."

Maze laughed and hung up the phone. He was in so deep, there was no way he could dig himself out. Well, now time to feed the wife. It was in the contract and he did so love a good contract.

Chloe was dreaming again. Gone was abusive Dan and in his place was Lucifer. He had brought her coffee and croissants, sitting her at a table covered in flowers. He held her hand as he fed her bites of the bread, covered in a sweet butter. Stroking her cheek, he told her how beautiful she was and that she meant the world to him. All the things a girl wants to hear. Then suddenly on his hip, a baby appeared, a little boy with her nose and Lucifer's dark hair. He was beautiful just like his father, well except for his flaming red eyes.

Chloe sat up and looked around the room, remembering where she was. Okay, she was still having nightmares but the theme had changed. On the tray by her bed was sweet cream butter, triple espresso and croissants.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N- Sometimes things happen and I have no control over them. Umm, opps * shrugs shoulders and hides*

They stayed at the hotel for 3 days. Lucifer had paid over $20,000 in damages to the room and another $1000 to get Chloe an outfit from the hotel shop to wear home. He kept her nude the whole time they were in the room but upon leaving, she needed an outfit seeing as he had destroyed hers. He refused to let her be seen nude by anyone. That nosy housekeeper had been enough. He still wanted to gouge out the Catholic maid's eyes and make a necklace out of them. He had now calmly talked her into another deal with the devil. He wanted to see how far she would go for him. So far, so good.

"Be still, Chloe. You must trust me or this won't work. I can't work my mojo when you're shaking like a wet kitten in the middle of a snowstorm."

"Is it going to hurt? Be straight with me", she whined

"Yes, it's going to hurt like the dickens. But you agreed to this so no backing out now. I'm taking you to new levels of depravity and this is step one."

Chloe hung her head and sighed, she did agree, yes, but she was mid-orgasm and would have agreed to anything as long as he didn't stop. Now she didn't know. This was going to be bad.

"Okay, bend over the bed and be as still as possible. If you move, you might be hurt and I'd hate myself for that."

As soon as the buzzing started, Chloe bit the pillow to keep from screaming. This hurt almost as much as child birth. Why did she agree to this again? Oh, right, he asked her if she would and going against everything she stood for, she said yes. He brought out a side of her she didn't know she had.

Just when she thought she was going to pass out, he pulled her to her feet and turned her towards the mirror. Right there, above her ass, was a tattoo that read, 'Property of Lucifer Morningstar' and she was going to kill him, "Splendid, I truly am an artist."

"What happened to the cute moon and star you described, huh? Shit, I've been tramp stamped, Lucifer. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I believe I said you needed a Morningstar, not a moon and stars. Can't you not listen as you cum? Come on, I thought you would be pleased at this formal claim I've laid to you."

"Okay, Lucifer, fine. But you have to let me give you one now. I want to tattoo Jesus on your dick so when we ….you can ask if I have Jesus in me."

"Oh, the irony of that. You have no idea. But alas, no. I have already taken care of getting a tattoo for you", he said opening his shirt.

Right there over his heart was a bright red heart that read 'Property of Chloe Morningstar' with little black stars around her name. Okay that undoubtedly hurt more than hers did. It was so intricate. The tattoo artist must have been highly skilled.

"You like? I had Maze do it for me. I think she rather enjoyed inflicting pain upon me if only briefly."

"Maze did that? Is there anything she can't do?", Chloe asked, honestly marveled by the demon.

"Just the usual, you know have feelings, love, relate to mortals. Everything else is done with precision and perfection just as I demand as her….employer."

Chloe chuckled as Lucifer's assessment of Maze. He was right. Maze didn't seem like the type to care too much for other people.

"When did you get that done? It doesn't look as fresh as mine."

"Oh, about an hour or so ago."

"But it's not even swollen or bleeding like mine."

"Perks of immortality. Are you ever going to listen to me, wife?"

"Nope, sorry. I still don't have that obeying thing down at all."

"And she calls me a jackass."

"I think you're beginning to rub off on me, Luci", she said with a smirk.

"Shame, I'd rather rub on you."

The flimsy shirt she wore was torn away and she found her self on her stomach, on one of his oversize pillows, "Just beautiful. Don't move, I want to try something", She heard paper ripping and some snapping of plastic and suddenly his head was underneath her, his mouth finding her button without any warning. She bucked her hips and gasped as he laved her with his tongue. "That's it, ride my face, let instinct take over", he told her as she buried her face in the blankets. It was then she felt something cold enter her. She was about to turn around and ask him what the hell he was doing when he clicked something and the thing inside of her began to vibrate, exactly in the right spot. In that moment she was lost. She had never felt anything so intense. She was so close, just a little more. She wiggled her ass trying to cause more friction and it was over. She turned to see him getting up from the bed. What the hell?

"I gave you explicit directions not to move and you moved. Play time is over."

"Lucifer you fu-"

She couldn't even begin to express her righteous anger as he clicked the remote in his hand and the vibration started again. Her face flushed and she looked at him with a 'you can't be serious' look in her eyes. She was not letting this happen no matter how good it felt. She was humiliated. She reached behind her to pull the thing out when her arm was smacked away.

"You'll take your punishment and you will look me in the eye the whole time."

This couldn't be happening, not to her. She had heard of things like this, but she had never experienced it herself. He rolled her onto her side and laid next to her without another word, the remote in one hand and both of her wrists in the other. Noticing she was trying to fight it, he grinned and clicked the remote from low to medium. She bit her lip as her lower body began to shake, "No? Not doing it for you, my love? Very well", he kicked it up to full blast. She was looking him right in the eye as she screamed her pleasure. He took that as his cue to pull her into his arms and he kissed her head as she rode out wave after wave. She was panting and begging him to stop, she couldn't take anymore so he shut the bullet off. He opened her thighs and pulled the cord of the toy and slid it out of her. She was a puddle of mush laying there next to him.

"What was that?", she asked him, throat so dry she could barely speak.

"That, my darling, was me watching you come undone. I couldn't do it like I wanted if I participated, I'd be too distracted."

"Keep that thing away from me, it's dangerous. I may begin to like it too much."

"As you wish"

Chloe tried to stand but found her legs wouldn't support her. She whimpered and laid back in the bed,"Lucifer, water, please?"

He shook his head for a moment before realizing she needed a drink. He handed her a glass and got a scotch for himself. She was a spectacular creature. It had been eons since he met anyone who could match him in both wit and desire. It was as if Father created her for him. Perhaps he had. How old was she anyway? She never answered when he asked. When she was asleep he would find out.

He didn't have to wait long. He went out for a smoke and when he came back in, she was passed out. He found her purse and dug through it until he found her wallet and pulled out her ID cards. They all said the same thing. She was 31 years old and she had the same birthday he did.

" _That's right my son, she was meant to be my gift to you. We waited until she was ready."_

Lucifer dropped to his knees with tears running down his face. Father had actually spoke to him after all of this time. What the hell was going on?,"Father, what would you have me do?", As usual, no answer.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N Ch.9 In which a douche rears it's douchy head and finally gets what he deserves

Chloe woke up to Trixie screaming and what sounded like a herd of elephants running through the flat. What the hell is going on? She threw back the blanket and found that she sheet had stuck to her tattoo while she slept. Damn,

"Lucifer!"

Trixie came running with Lucifer and Maze not far behind.

"Mommy, mommy. Make him stop. This is torture."

"Lucifer, stop torturing Trixie and help me get up. The sheet is stuck to that damn tattoo."

"Right, my fault, should have put a gauze on it but I became distracted if you know what I mean."

Maze sat on the recliner by the bed and held out her arms to Trixie, "Come sit with me while Luci helps your mom." Trixie had no problem climbing in 'aunt' Maze's lap and when she did she knew she had fell into a trap.

"Oh, no, no."

Maze smiled devilishly and held the child tight, "Hit play Lucifer, I got her."

 _Because I want it that way. Tell me why..._

That was all it took for the child to scream. Maze laughed as the girl wiggled, trying to get away. Lucifer, bent over in a fit of giggles, was do distracted, he was taken off guard when Chloe smacked him upside the head,"Stop picking on Trixie."

"I'm giving her a lesson in music appreciation. Appreciate my music or pay the price."

"Honestly for someone with so much class, you have shitty taste in music. Kind of reminds me of Dan and his love of Coldplay and Nickelback."

Lucifer smirked and pulled the sheet off of Chloe's back. _"_ _Make fun of my boys and suffer",_ he thought.

"Shit."

Reciprocation, wife."

"Touche'. Listen, I need a favor. Can you watch Trixie for like an hour so I can run by the house and pick up some of my clothes and Trixie's stuff?", she asked as she pulled on jeans and a baggy t-shirt.

"Why would you want any of that? I can replace it all for you."

"There's nothing wrong with our stuff. Besides, you've wasted enough money on me already."

"Nothing I do for you is a waste. I do it freely."

"Look, I'll be back soon okay. And stop torturing Trixie", she said giving him a quick peck on the lips.

The drive to the beach house was quiet and gave Chloe time to really think over the changes in her life. It was all so sudden and frankly, she felt a little crazy but being married to Lucifer wasn't so bad. He was really sweet and good to her and he adored Trixie even if he wouldn't say it out loud. She still couldn't get over how Lucifer turned his whole life upside down to accommodate them.

She pulled into the drive of the old house and felt a pang of homesickness. She and Trixie had so many good times in this place and who could forget the morning she got out of the shower to find Lucifer cooking breakfast. Dan never did let that go. Speaking of Dan, what was he doing sitting on the porch?

Chloe shifted the car into park and killed the engine before hopping out. Chloe stalked up to the porch, crossing her arms over her chest, "When did you get out? And why are you here?"

"Babe, I'm so happy to see you. Where's my munchkin?"

Chloe rolled her eyes at her drunk ex-husband,"We're divorced, remember, douche? And you gave up Trixie, oh but that's right. She wasn't your kid anyway, as you would so frequently tell me."

"I was jus' worried about how my shit would affect you and the brat. You're going to be mad at me for doing the right thing after you harp at me to follow the rules? You, bitch. You know what, you were always a bitch. A frigid, cold, bitch."

"I suggest you remember that fact and get the hell out of here."

"No's I'm not done with you. You're gonna pay up for all the shit I've been through because of you.", he said sounding drunker by the minute.

"Dan, how much have you had to drink? You're talking crazy and I think it's time for you to leave."

"I've had many margaritas and Long Island Iced Teas. Stop trying to distract me. I'm not leaving anytime soon. Nope, not until I get what I came for, a piece of ass. Tha's all you's good for, anyway. Now you can be a good girl and lay there and take it or you can fight and get hurt. Into the house now and drop those jeans."

Chloe's heart was pounding in her chest. This could not be happening to her. No, not again. Before she could register what was going on, his fist was plowing into her cheek, knocking her down. He yanked her by the back of her shirt to throw her into the house, ripping the shirt from collar to hem. Then he saw it. The tattoo. Immediately, he flew into a rage and began pummeling the poor girl.

Fucking Lucifer branded her like cattle and he had barely been out of the picture a couple of weeks. Fucking whore banging that psycho. They were both going to get what they deserved. He would make sure Mr. Prada suits would never look at Chloe again and to do that he was going to ruin that pretty face. Dan was about to kick her chin in when thunder cracked and lightening lit up the sky, striking Dan right in the chest.

Suddenly, a very large black man was standing over Chloe. Through her swollen eye, she recognized him as Lucifer's brother. He knelt down and ran a hand over her, scanning her life force. It was still strong. She would live but she would need time to recover. He had to get her back to Lucifer. He scanned Dan and found he was still alive so he threw the drunk man over his shoulder as if he was nothing and gently pulled the detective against his chest. He took a brief moment to inhale her scent. She smelled of vanilla, honey and Lucifer.

Lucifer was worried. She had been gone too long and he had a gut feeling something was wrong. Just as he was about to grab his keys from the desk, he heard the distinct flapping of wings. The balcony doors blew open and his brother landed cradling Chloe in his arms. Lucifer rushed over and pulled his wife from the angel's arms.

"What have you done to her?", the rage only the devil could possess bubbling beneath the surface.

Amenadiel held up his hands and backed away from his brother and the demon slinking up behind him, "I had nothing to do with this, I stopped it before it got any worse", he said before dropping Dan on the floor, "He did this, I stopped him before he ripped her clothes off with a little help from Dad."

Lucifer handed Chloe to Maze to lay on the bed as he examined the pile of douche crumpled on his marble tiles. Right in the middle of his chest, Lucifer saw the char marks, "Lightening? Way to go, Dad", he said in disbelief as he looked up at the ceiling.

"Maze, bring your 'tools', Dan is in need of a bit of work."

"I can't believe I'm going to say this, but thank-you Amenadiel. And thank-you, Dad. I don't know what affection you have for my wife but I appreciate it. Now, Meni, tell me what you saw, every bit of it."

"Not much, he was had ripped her shirt about to kick her in the face and Dad sounded the alarm and struck him down. He told me to take her home, take her to you. He wasn't watching or it wouldn't have even got that far. Knowing you as I do, I brought him, too."

Maze tossed her tool box on the foot of the bed and went to check Chloe. The woman's eye was swollen closed and there were a few bruises but, luckily nothing was broken. Maze stroked her cheek. The past few weeks, Chloe had really grown on her and this pissed her off. Trixie chose that moment to walk in with her strawberry ice cream cone.

"What happened to my mommy? I thought she wasn't going to get hurt anymore. Lucifer, you said if she wasn't with the police anymore, then she wouldn't get hurt", the child began to cry hysterically, dropping her treat on the floor, next to her. She glared at Amenadiel, "Why did you do that to my mommy, I know you hate her but you didn't have to hurt her, you bully."

Maze pulled the child into her arms and stroked her hair,"He didn't, he saved your mommy from Dan."

The child's whole body went rigid in Maze's arms as she look down at the man she used to call daddy. She had never told anyone, not even Chloe, that she had seen Dan beating her mother, she was supposed to be sleeping.

"He did it again. He always hurt mommy for no reason. He would even say I wasn't his kid."

Lucifer hurt for the child. She was so young and had been through so much already. Pulling Trixie to him, he hugged her tight, "Well, legally, you're not his anymore, you're mine and I would never toss you away. I know how that feels and I would spare you that."

"What are you going to do with him? You're the devil, are you gonna punish him?"

"Now, child, what kind of question is that. You know I'm going to. It's my duty."

The girl licked her lips and grinned, "Can I help?"

"Absolutely not, you're far too young. Already trying to kick me from the throne, I see. Okay, tiny usurper, go with Maze and do girly things. I need to talk to uncle Meni for a moment."

"Okay, I guess. Never let me have any fun", she said taking Maze's hand.

She was almost to the door when she broke away from Maze and jumped on Dan's prone form. She bit, scratched and kicked the man who had caused her so much pain her whole life. None of the grown-ups knew what to do and as Amenadiel tried to pull the child away, she slugged him in the nose.

"Shit!", the angel screamed.

"Ohh, you said a no-no word, you're going to hell", Trixie said, his outburst making her stop pummeling Dan.

Lucifer chose that moment to pick her up, if only to get her away from Dan. Perhaps he should take the child to see Dr. Linda. Dan had traumatized the child even if she hid it well. Yes, tomorrow they would go see the therapist but for now, he had to deal with the girl's crazy notions of what sends one to hell.

"Love, you don't go to hell for words or thoughts, but actions. I've explained this to you."

"Sorry, Lucifer. It's just want NaNa always said."

"I can't believe Penelope Decker let you call her NaNa. Will wonders ever cease?"

"No, silly. Not MeMe, his mom", she said pointing to the douche.

"Ah, granny Espinoza. That explains that. Well, NaNa is wrong. Tell me is she Catholic by any chance?"

"I think so, mommy said she is a roaming Catholic."

"I think you mean Roman", Lucifer laughed. "Now go along with Maze while I clean your messes. You are a handful, I have to clean up ice cream this smudge called Dan off my tiles."

Trixie nodded and ran to the demon, "Did you see me, Maze, I so kicked his butt."

"You did, if he had been awake he would have begged you stop. He could never handle hell's number two torturer."

Watching the girls walk out, Amenadiel shook his head, "You have your hands full with these females, don't you, Luci."

"That's a massive understatement."

"Well, I'm off, what are you going to do with that," the angel asked pointing at Dan, who was now starting to move.

"I think I'm going to take a play from his hero, Nickelback's book and remind him of who I really am."

"Oh, boy. Time for me to fly."

Lucifer knew killing Danielsan wouldn't earn him any points with Chloe. She would insist he obey the asinine human laws. On the other hand, he did try to do unspeakable things to her, so maybe she wouldn't mind.

Dan crawled to his knees, trying to stand but Lucifer punched him, "Oh, no you don't. I prefer you bowing before me."

"Luck you Fucifer", he slurred.

"You're drunk, in the middle of the day? What a lousy piece of shit, you are. While I take no issue with you humans and your vices, even I look down upon your behavior."

What Lucifer failed to notice was that sometime between dealing with the child's outburst and Amenadiel's departure, Chloe had woke up and now clutched Maze's blade in her hand. He was too late to stop her. She drove the freshly sharpened blade into Dan's gut and jerked upwards, watching the blood spill from his lips, "Go. To. Hell. You bastard!"

Lucifer looked at her wide eyed. If he could, he would have went into shock. This was so out of character, right? His Chloe never ceased to surprise him. He watched as she wiped the knife off on Dan's pants before she turned to him, "You have someone who can get rid of this, right?"

"You don't want to call it in?", he asked, incredulously. She usually did everything by the book.

"It would be a waste of valuable police resources. It would be better for everyone if he just vanished."

"As you wish, darling. Remind me not to piss you off."

"You better not forget", she said with a smile as he pulled her into his arms.

"Are you otherwise, alright. Your eye. It a massive angry bruise."

"It will heal in a few days. This is, as they say, not my first rodeo."

"I wish I knew who this they was, they say and do a lot of things. 'They' sound quite interesting."

"Lucifer", Chloe said shaking her head, "It's just a figure of speech."

"Oooh, right. You humans."


	10. Chapter 10

A/N In which Lucifer is a bonehead and Heaven shows how full of assholes it really is. I own nothing. Nothing!

The next day, Chloe, Lucifer and Trixie all found themselves on the sofa of Dr. Martin. When Lucifer called the night before to make an appointment, the good doctor was surprised and a bit taken aback. Lucifer wanted counseling for his family? She hoped this went better than the session with his brother.

After in the introduction, the Doctor let Chloe and Trixie know they were in a safe place and could discuss whatever they wanted. The mother and child looked at each other in silent conversation. Chloe nodded letting the girl know it was alright to talk.

"Okay, why don't one of you explain why we're all here today and please, no talking over each other."

"My ex was very abusive and it just came out recently that Beatrice...Trixie may have witnessed more than we thought and now she's suffering from it",Chloe said, trying to keep it as simple as possible.

"The man took douchery to a never before seen level, doctor",Lucifer threw in for good measure.

Ignoring Lucifer, the doctor turned to the child, "Beatrice, why don't you tell me how you're feeling. This is a safe space so nothing you say will be held against you and I'm sure your mother would love to know how you feel."

Chloe reached over Lucifer to rub the child's back, "Go ahead, sweetie."

Trixie turned her eyes to the floor, "I hate him. He was so mean to us. Then when I would see him at work, around his friends, he would try to be all nice to us. It was so fake. I was happy when mommy left him, but it made me sad and so mad when I had to spend the weekend with him."

The doctor nodded, making notes on her pad, "Was he mean to you, hit you, was that what made you sad?"

"No, he wasn't anything to me. He would act like I wasn't even there. He sat around in his boxers, scratching himself while he listened to music and played air guitar. He would feed me, and tell me to go to bed. That was it. Oh, and curse about mommy."

"I see", Linda said, giving Chloe a knowing look as Lucifer silently fumed. The douche got off too easy. He would have to send Amenadiel special instructions for the douche.

"So, if I'm hearing this right, he totally blew you off every weekend? Why didn't you tell me, baby?"

"He said you guys were getting back together and I had to behave and keep my mouth shut."

Linda took the child's hand and looked from Chloe to Lucifer, "Well, I don't think you have to worry about that anymore. Is there anything we need to address today? Lucifer?"

Lucifer leaned forward, his hands making a steeple, "What can we do for her, doctor? This rage she has came on quite sudden."

"I think that all of the feelings she has kept bottled up inside were triggered into release by the sight of Chloe after her latest encounter with Dan. Everyone, even a child has a breaking point where they say 'no more' and fight back. In Trixie's case, I think, with time and attention and lots of love, she'll be able to grow out of this and become a well adjusted adolescent. Does anyone have anything else they wish to discuss before our time's up?"

Chloe and Trixie shook their heads no while Lucifer stood and unbuckled his trousers. Dr. Linda licked her lips while Chloe stared in disbelief. What was he doing?

"I trust our usual payment schedule is on order, doctor?", he asked, pulling off his boxers.

Chloe covered Trixie's eyes and stood, hitting Lucifer in the shoulder, "What the hell are you doing, Lucifer?"

"Why paying the doctor for our session of course. I pay her in flesh."

"Oh, no, no, no", Chloe said, shaking a finger at both of them, "This is wrong, oh so wrong. I can't believe this, from either of you", the hurt evident in her voice, "Please tell me this isn't what happens every time you come see her?", remembering the two times since they were married that he had visited his therapist.

Before either could answer, Chloe took her daughter and marched out of the office. Lucifer looked at the doctor and shrugged his shoulders, "Shall we?"

"Lucifer, no!", the doctor stood, shouting at him. She knew their arrangement was unethical but damn he was good in the sheets. So good, in fact, she had a hard time resisting him. He was a married man now, which made him off limits. "Just pay the $200.00 fee and go. We can't do this anymore."

"I don't understand, you're refusing me and Chloe stormed out. What do you damn women want from me?"

"Lucifer, you're married to Chloe, how ever odd that still seems, you can't just offer to screw me while she's sitting right there. What would you do if she did that with a man?"

"You can't blame this on me. We had our arrangement way before she and I...oh, right."

"Lucifer. Go find your wife."

"Right, I should do that. Can this day get any worse?"

 _It can and it will, Lightbearer. You have hurt the one given to you. You must be punished._

Great. Well he was used to the heavens being against him. Nothing he could do about it. He had to find Chloe and fix this mess. He just wasn't sure he knew how. He never was good with the emotional side of things. It was just payment for services rendered, that was all, no more, no less. Why should she get so upset? _Or is it the old adage, "Do as I say and not as I do?"_ Well, shit.

Chloe and Trixie waited at the bus stop. She was going home. All she had to do was divorce Lucifer, ask for her job back and get everything back to normal. She wasn't going through more crap with another man, no matter how insanely hot he was. Shit, she would have to get that tattoo removed, too. That was fine, it was trashy any way. Why did she say yes to that, again? Oh, right, he was boinking her like a mad man. Why did she always become putty in his hands? Thunder cracked through the sky, lightening danced and in the place Chloe and Trixie stood milliseconds before, was now empty.

Lucifer ran out of the medical center, all the way to his car in the parking garage. He expected to find them there, sitting and waiting for him but no one was there. Where in the devil did they go? He got in and started the car, intending to drive around and look for them. Cone hell or high water, he would find her and bring her back to him.

Thunder clapped and lightening lit the sky. Well, this isn't good sign. He knew when his father was angry. He had pissed him off many times over the eons. As he shifted into reverse, Amenadiel stood in front of his car with outstretched arms, "I'm sorry, Lucifer", was all he said before pulling his angelic vanishing act. Sorry for what? Oh, no. He hadn't?

Raphael stood next to the all Father, looking down at the woman and child who laid at their feet. Samael was screwed. Dad took his favorite toys away. This was going to be interesting. What would his wayward brother do? Burn down the earth or release the demons? It didn't matter as long as Raphael got to inspect the woman. While dad had the human, Raphi was going to find out what made her so special, he would know her in the biblical sense.

 **2 long days later**

"I'm telling you, Maze, they took her. Father and my brothers stole her from me."

"May I remind you they took my Trixie, too. She was our baby."

"What can I do? I've tried everything to get her back but he ignores every bargain I try to strike."

"Your wings, we can reattach them, then you can fight back on their level. You could go right to the source."

He poked her head then, "I burned the bloody things, remember?"

"Actually, you didn't. I switched the real pair for the fake ones when Amenadiel had you distracted. They are back in storage. Did you really think your wings would burn that quick from a simple cigarette?" Hell no."

Lucifer didn't know whether to slug the demon or kiss her. He thought the wings were ashes in the wind but she had saved them. Now he could fight Heaven on an even playing field and they were going to pay for this. All of them.


	11. Chapter 11

**In the garden of Heaven**

"Who the hell are you and where the hell am I?",Chloe shouted at the robed man standing over her.

"Wrong direction, human female, this is Heaven."

Chloe pulled Trixie to her side, holding the child close. There was only one reason they would be in this place and the idea terrified Chloe, "Are we dead?"

"Hahaha, no. My father has taken a special interest in you in. My name is Michael and I'm here to guard you. You can only wonder around in this part of the gardens otherwise you really will die. And do not, under any circumstance eat from the trees in the garden, If you hunger, tell me and Father will provide you sustenance."

"Let me guess, you're a friend of Lucifer's?"

"Actually, he's my brother."

"But you look….oh man, okay how many brother's does he have?"

"We are legion. Too many to count. Only Father knows the true number. Lucifer, though cast out, is still our Father's son. He has gone against Father's wishes and caused you pain. He will be punished accordingly."

"What is it with you people and punishment? Seriously, that's all Lucifer talks about, being the devil and punishing the wicked."

"He does not lie. It is his duty. When the evil humans die, they go to his realm, the good come here."

"Look, I don't know what kind of game you and he are playing, but, buddy, it's not funny. My daughter and I need to get home and get on with our lives."

The angel stood perplexed, no human since their creation had ever doubted him. He had to find a way to convince the mortal he was speaking truth. She could not go before Father with a mind full of doubt and fear.

Another of his brothers stepped out of the shadow of the trees and pulled the female into his arms, "I can convince her, Michael."

"Raphael, what are you doing here?"

"I've come to help. I shall provide her with all the proof she needs."

Raphael took Chloe's head in his hands and before she could squeak, he showed her everything from creation up until the right now. When he was done, she fell at his feet, overwhelmed. It was all true. Lucifer was the devil, he wasn't lying. She was married to Satan, had sex with Satan, yet here she was in heaven.

"Lucifer really is the devil?" Oh, shit. Well, at least he wasn't crazy.

Trixie turned her head and grinned at her mother, "Of course he is, I could have told you that."

 **At Lux**

"Hold still, Lucifer. I have to align these just right or you're going to be one deformed ass devil."

"Maze, how do we even know they'll go back. We cut them off with a damn demon blade", Lucifer said, lying face down on his bed.

"It wasn't a demon blade, OK. It was a regular knife. I just told you it was a demon blade so you'd quit bitching. If it had been one of my blades, I wouldn't have had to hack at the bone for hours."

"You lied to me, Maze? How very you of you. I can't believe I'm going to say this, but it doesn't matter now, what's done is done, just get them back on me. If you can."

They were heavy even for Maze. As she lay them across his back, something odd happened, the skin still attached slid right back into place as if it had never been cut away at all. It was seamless. Maze stood with her hands on her hips and admired her work.

"Looks pretty damn good if you ask me. Can you use them?"

Lucifer stood and prepared to flex the wings he hadn't used in 5 years when a scorching pain ripped through his back. He let out a howl much like a wounded animal. His wings spread, knocking over his vases and lots of liquor bottles. He grinned with hellfire in his eyes, the power surging through his body felt like it was a hundred times stronger than before.

"I'm back, baby. I am back."

Maze was on him then, licking his cheek and rubbing his crotch. He shoved her away and pinned her to the wall with barely any effort, "What the bloody hell are you doing?"

"Sorry, not sorry, your true form turns me on and I just want to rub myself all over you."

"Well, you can't do that anymore. I'm a married devil."

"That didn't stop you from screwing Dr. Linda's brains out. Not that I blame you. That woman is a whirlwind in the sack."

"You, too? She was sleeping with you, too?"

"Well, I wouldn't call it sleeping, exactly", Maze said, licking her top lip.

"I beginning to think the good doctor may need some therapy for her sex addiction."

"I don't know, I like how hot and horny we make her, it gives me a thrill. So, what are you going to do about dear old dad?"

"Maze, my demon, I think I'm going to have to finish what I started all those eons ago. I'm going to bring down Heaven."

"All that for a human. Couldn't we just find you another one? There's millions of them."

"But there's only one Chloe."

 **In Heaven**

Raphael groped Chloe through her shirt, squeezing her breast so hard it hurt, "What the fuck are you doing?",Chloe screamed.

"Me? Trying to find out what makes you so fascinating to my brother and my father. It must be these things. They are so nice and juicy."

Chloe didn't know what to say. She was disgusted by the angel's behavior, it was so off. Weren't these things supposed to be all goodness and light? This guy was grabby hands and sleazy remarks. If she said the wrong thing to him, would she get in trouble with his dad?

"Raphael, for the second time, I say, leave the woman be."

The angel jumped away from Chloe and ran to hide behind a tree. He was definitely scared of whoever the new comer was and to be honest, the man made Chloe quiver a little bit, too. How many of them were there and how did they just appear out of nowhere?

"You have no cause for fear Chloe Morningstar. I mean you no harm."

Trixie ran and stood before the man with her arms out, wanting him to pick her up, "Hello again, Jesus."

Jesus, as in Jesus Christ? And what did she mean by hello again? This was all too surreal for Chloe. Had she been hit by a car at the bus stop? This was just too much for her mind to rationalize.

"Trixie, how do you know this man? I thought I told you about talking to strangers."

"Mommy, this isn't some random person, he's Jesus. He saved me from daddy when I was little."

"Wha.."

Jesus stroked Trixie's hair and sat her back down,"Your then husband went into her room when she was about three months old with the intent of putting a pillow over her head. I stopped him and have watched over her since."

Again, Chloe was left speechless. If this was true, Dan had tried to kill their child. Any regret she had about ending his life was now gone. What else would he have tried to do to them if he was still around.

"Do not fret Chloe, all will be well soon. My Father has a plan. As of this moment, Lucifer has accepted his wings again and is on his way to rescue you, just as Father wants. With Lucifer home and Amenadiel running hell, all will be as it should."

"For you maybe, what about us? Do we get to go home anytime soon? Not that this place isn't great, I just need...home."

"Soon, child, soon. Be still and don't worry, all will be well."

Before Chloe could ask anymore questions, the man was gone. How do they do that? Chloe hung her head in her hangs and sighed. It was all too much to take in. Trixie, on the other hand, was excited. Did nothing phase this child?

Raphael saw Jesus leave and decided it was time to find out all about Chloe Decker. With a snap of his fingers, Trixie was locked in a cell and Chloe's clothes were gone. She screamed as the angel stood over her without his robe. He was nude and shining but Chloe had to laugh. He was about as anatomically correct as a Ken doll.

"Sorry, I'm not into scissoring."

He was on her then knocking her on her back, licking, sucking and biting. He held his hand over her mouth to try and drown out her screams. He didn't need his brothers interrupting before he figured out what to do with the woman. He didn't get a chance as he was thrown unceremoniously onto his ass.

"Can't leave you alone for a second, can I? You always end up in trouble. Honestly, Chloe what would you do without me?"

"Lucifer? How did you get here?"

Michael rushed in with sword blazing, "What is going on here? Speak!", he yelled, voice booming.

"Must you yell? I should be the one yelling. Another angel sleeping on the job, I see. Must I do everything? Raph here decided he was going to have his way with my wife. Where is the spawn, Chloe?"

Jesus walking in then, carrying the child on his hip,"I found this, I believe it belongs to you."

He looked at Chloe's nude form and shook his head. She hates that. With a nod, she was fully dressed again. He warned Raphael to leave her alone.

Chloe was indignant and pissed. No one had the right to paw at her like that. Without another thought, she grabbed the flaming sword from Michael and rushed Raphael, driving it through his mid section. In a moment, he was gone leaving behind him a pile of dust.

Jesus turned with a grin and walked away, "I warned him."

Michael quickly took the sword from the human and examined her hands. She would need treatment for the burns. He would most likely have to take her before Father and have him heal her. When he looked at her palms, he saw nothing. How was that even possible?

"Perk of the bloodline", said an old man as he strolled in the room, hands in the pocket of his robe.

Lucifer dropped to one knee and bowed his head, "Father!"

"Welcome home, my morning star. it's been too long."

Chloe and Trixie watched the family reunion in shock and awe. God was standing right in front of them. She didn't know what to do. She was happy Lucifer was back with his family, he seemed right at home here but other than that, she was lost. She had so many questions, it was in her nature to want to know. But if she asked, would anyone really answer them.

God kneeled before Chloe and took her hand in his,"I know what you're going to ask me. You want to know why people exist, you want to ask, why are we here, don't you? The answer is simple. I deem it so. You exist, therefore you are."

That was it? That was the only answer to the question literally every being on the planet had. That was bullshit.

"That's all you have to say. Lucifer was right about you, you're a raving ego maniac. And another thing...", before she could say anymore, Lucifer clamped his hand over her mouth, muffling her rant.

"Forgive her father, she knows not what she does."

Lucifer's father laughed. The human knew exactly what she was doing. She was jumping to Lucifer's defense as he knew she would. This mortal was worthy of his son. All he had to do now was make Lucifer realize it. Game on, Satan.

"Now that you're home, my son, I will send the woman and her offspring back to Los Angeles, Earth. You will stay with us where you belong."

Lucifer crossed his arms over his chest, "No, where she goes, I go." If Father wanted a fight, he would give him one.

"Why do you care, Lucifer, you cheated on me, with the freakin' therapist!", Chloe yelled in his face. "You're just as bad as Dan."


	12. Chapter 12

I'm in a mood so who knows what will happen in this chapter. Okay? Okay.

Her bitter words hurt. They stung every fiber of his being. How could he have been so stupid? If their roles in this had been reversed, he would have ripped her and her lover apart, limb by limb. He now understood. How was he going to get himself out of this one? He needed to be punished and who better to do that than himself?

"Send her and the child home, Father. I'll go back to hell, where I belong."

The father wasn't one to let his children slide when they messed up and this time was no exception. He knew just what buttons of his son's to push. This was going to hurt. He pulled Lucifer to him and showed him Chloe and the child living happy lives with a man who could be a male model. How this man would take Lucifer's family away if he let them go so easy. How Lucifer would be trapped back in hell with no Uber ride from his coin.

Lucifer pulled away and screamed. He was not going to let someone take her away. He would have to fight for her and it would be a battle he wasn't sure he could win. A Chloe scorned was more terrifying than all the demons in hell.

Chloe crossed her arms and tapped her foot, sneering at her soon to be ex-husband, "So, you screw up and you get to run away from your problems because you have those feathers on your back now? Screw that, I'll pluck every damn feather from your back. Don't test me, boy."

"Chloe, I didn't know this would upset you so badly. I really didn't think any thing of it since it was just my penis I was using. You know better than anyone, I'm a poor judge of emotions and the feelings of others. If I had known, I never would have screwed the doctor. How can I make this up to you? I never meant to hurt you, I promised you I never would. What can I do to fix this?"

Chloe could tell Lucifer was sincere but she didn't think she could trust him ever again. It was Dan all over again, minus the physical abuse. Yet, as much as she wanted to hate him, she couldn't. He just didn't get it. "Lucifer, married people don't do that. There's this crazy little concept called monogamy. How many times did you sleep with her?"

"Twice, since we married. Before that, over 20. I paid her for the sessions in sex, it was her idea. I just agreed."

"Idiot. You boneheaded idiot. I get it now. She used you. She is in a position of power and she abused that with you by using your insecurities against you. That bitch."

"No, love, there was no using. It was mutual. The good doctor is a very sexual woman. Constantly horny. She even had a couple go arounds with Maze."

"Are you kidding me? She's not just a bitch, she's a slutty bitch", Chloe declared, her hands on her hips. "I'll kill her."

"Darling, you're getting bit kill happy, tone it down, sweety. You're making the devil nervous."

"Don't you 'sweety' me, you're still an asshole and don't forget, I know where you sleep."

God nodded, "You really are an asshole, but I think that's my fault, seems I made you that way." No one could say the all Father didn't have a sense of humor.

Chloe turned and glared at Lucifer's father, "You know, you need a good ass kicking, too."

Lucifer cringed, waiting for his dad to turn Chloe into a frog or something else revolting but nothing happened. Instead, his father was laughing. No one talked to his father like that and lasted very long. The old boy clapped Lucifer on the shoulder and chuckled, "Like Father like son, eh?"

"You're going to let a human talk to you like that, Dad?", Lucifer asked, perplexed. "But you cast me out for asking a question. I can't win around here. What's the point?"

God held out his hand, stopping Lucifer's temper tantrum, "Same old Lucifer with the same old argument. It's not fair, blah, blah, blah. Lucifer didn't get his way. Son, nothing comes without a price. Perhaps one day you'll learn. Now be gone, back to earth."

Lucifer awoke in his bed at Lux like any other day. He rolled over and checked the time on his phone. 3:48 am. February 15th, 2015. "Maze, Maze. Come here!"

A few minutes later the sexy demon glided into the room, "What, now? I was having a foursome with the Britney's and that new bartender you hired. His tongue is glorious."

"Yes, yes, carnal delights all around. Where's Chloe?"

"I think you mean, 'Who's Chloe?', because I've never met anyone with that name."

"The detective Maze, the one with the spawn you care for."

"Did you have one of those lucid dreams or have you bumped your head. As if I would care for a child. I'm a freakin' demon."

"Maze, what day is is it? Tell me quick."

"It's the day after the humans valentine's day. Which is why I was having a sexy buffet."

"The year?"

"2015, Lucifer. What is wrong with you? Is being on earth affecting you finally? We can go back to hell, go home right now. I don't like the way you're acting."

"It's not me Maze, it's him. Father took my whole life away again."

"Lucifer, I think you need to lay off the scotch before you go to sleep", she said before returning to her chamber.

 **3 months later**

Tonight was the night he would meet the detective. Sadly, Delilah would die yet again but 'twas a sacrifice he was willing to make in order to re-meet his detective. The events of the evening followed the same pattern and finally Detective Decker approached him with her notepad over, flipping through pages of information. The only thing different this time was her stomach was visibly swollen as if she were with child. This didn't happen before. Behind her, Dan trailed like the sick puppy he was.

"Mr. Morningstar...is that really your name?"

"God given I'm afraid", he answered, trying to keep their conversation as authentic as posssible

"Chloe, we need to talk. I know that kid isn't mine so who have you been with. I deserve to know, we are still married." 

"For the last time, Dan. I have no idea. We must have had a drunken tumble or something."

"Chloe, I can't have kids, I'm sterile. This is the same shit you pulled with Trixie, you didn't know how you got pregnant with her. Do you expect me to believe in some immaculate conception bullshit?"

Lucifer could tell Dan was dangerously close to losing his temper so he came and stood between the detectives, offering his hand to the man, "Detective Douche, I'm Lucifer Morningstar."

Dan bobbed his head like a chicken,"What did he just call me? Is this dude for real?"

Chloe bit her lip to keep from laughing, who ever this Lucifer guy was, he was a good judge of character. Dan was a douchebag through and through, "Dan, why don't you go home, have a beer and listen to your Nickelback collection", Chloe said, trying to calm her estranged husband down.

"Nickelback, you can't be serious? You're a douche who listens to mom rock. Aren't you precious? Detective Decker, if you'll have a seat, I'll be with you in a moment to answer any questions you may have, I'd just like a word with the gentleman, here. Mano y mano if you will."

"Uh, sure, but you boys behave."

When Chloe was out of ear shot, Lucifer backed Dan into a dark corner, his eyes flashing, "If you lay a hand on that woman, ever again, I guarantee you, I'll deep fry you in your own body fat."

"How did you know? Who the hell are you? Man, what the hell?"

"Ruler of hell actually. Test me, Dan. I beg of you."

Dan ran from the club, horrified. Lucifer on the other hand, strolled slowly to his piano, with his hands in his pockets, "So, what did you need to ask me, Detective?"

it was then he realized his father hadn't taken anything away per se, he had given him what the rest of humanity was denied. Lucifer had gotten a do over and he was going to do his bloody damnedest to make sure everything turned out alright. Judging by the bulge of her belly, that only gave him about 6 months. The only thing truly perplexing him now was the identity of Trixie's sire. Dan truly was sterile so who begat that child? She had to have angelic DNA, that's why she loved him despite of who he was.


	13. Chapter 13

**Who's house? God's house**

"Father, may I speak?", Gabriel asked, kneeling at The Almighty's feet.

"What troubles you, Gabriel?"

"Lucifer. He must know the child is his but she has no idea. Considering how badly Espinoza Dan treated her with the last child, I hope you at least have a safe guard in place this time. Making the female child resemble him did not help."

"All will be well soon. Lucifer just has to do the right thing."

The angel sighed heavily, "This is Lucifer we're talking about, unless he is told, how will he know what the right thing is?"

"She will show him."

 **Earth**

"Lucifer, I'm really in no mood for your Luciferness, say what you need to say," Chloe said, exasperated.

"Are you feeling ill, detective? I know your mood is not my doing. Tell me, what has you in this state?"

Chloe sat on the couch and held her head in her hands, "I'm exhausted. My feet hurt and this bowling ball in my belly is making my back ache."

"Bowling ball? I thought you were with child."

"See, that's what I mean by Luciferness. It's an expression, Lucifer. I'm not saying there's really a bowling ball in there."

Lucifer nodded. He never understood why the humans couldn't just say what they meant. Not everything needed an expression. He wondered what he could do for her or what she would let him to for that matter.

"What can I do for you? You seem to need my aid."

Chloe nibbled at her bottom lip, she couldn't believe she was going to ask him this but her aches and pains were getting the better of her, "Do you think, oh god, umm, that you can give me a massage? Oh, what was it you came by for again?

"We can talk about that another time. Where do you want to do this? Here, on the sofa, in your bed or on the floor?"

"Hmmm, floor would be fine with my feet, I don't want to move too far."

"Very well",Lucifer said, getting down on his knees on the plush rug. "Oh, where is your spawn, I don't want her walking in and getting the wrong idea."

"She's spending the night with her friend. Dan was, once again, too busy to come get her. His been almost catatonic for a while. Every time I mention you or a case we are working on he, literally wets himself. He wouldn't even give me a hug yesterday when I got all weepy and emotional."

"Ah, so she will be back in the morning?", he asked, secretly smiling that he had the douche terrified. "Come now, lay down for Lucifer."

He helped her lie down and put a couch pillow under her head. It was orange and atrocious but it had her scent all over it. He took of those damnable work heels she was forced by some archaic regulation, to wear. He inhaled deeply at the sight of her bare feet and fought back the urge to rub himself all over her feet. He really had a foot fetish and hers were the holy grail. Something told him she wouldn't like it if he slid a toe or two in his mouth so he settled on rubbing her heels and the arches, soliciting moans of gratitude.

The way her hair was spread over the pillow and her closed eyed look of bliss had him about to make a mess in his trousers. It was so hard to behave when he knew the treasure under that sweater and jeans. He rubbed and kneaded the flesh until she was jelly.

"Roll on over and slip your top off so I can get to your back. No funny business, devil's honor."

Chloe thought about it for a moment. His hands really could work magic and her back was a tangled mess of sore muscle. Did it really matter at this point if he saw her back? She decided the benefits out weighed the risk and sat on her knees, "Close you eyes for a second."

"Really detective, we're not in high school. Well, I never was but you're an adult. Why hide?"

"Fine", she said shooting him a dirty look before flinging her sweater in his face. "You know, a girl likes to keep some air of mystery about herself, Lucifer."

"Oh, darling, you will always remain a mystery to me. One moment, I'll be right back."

He went to her bathroom and rummaged around the cabinets until he found what he was looking for. The baby oil was on the shelf with Trixie's bath things. He grabbed it and ran back to Chloe before she had a chance to change her mind.

"Here we go. Relax, detective. I will soothe every pain away."

He squirted a bit of the oil into his palm and rubbed it with the other to warm it up. He began rubbing in small circles at her lower back, working his way up in waves. The muscles cracked and popped beneath his fingers. Every few minutes, he would stop and ask her if he was doing okay, to which she responded with with small moans and grunts of appreciation.

"Lucifer, your fingers are like a dream come true."

"Glad to be of service, detective."

"What, no sexual remark, no innuendo or promise to show me? Lucifer, you're losing your touch."

"Sorry to disappoint, you said you weren't in the mood for my Luciferness."

"I guess you could say I have certain expectations when it comes to you. You're the only one willing to work with me, you listen to me and here you are taking care of me. You mean a lot to me Lucifer."

"I could do so much more, if you would let me, Chloe."

He said her name, he hardly ever said her name. Without thinking about her nudity, she rolled over onto her back and propped herself up on her elbows, "Like what?"

"Anything. Your wants, your needs and most assuredly your desires, carnal or otherwise."

Grabbing him by the shoulders, she pulled him down with her, kissing him lightly at first, gauging his reaction. He didn't pull away, instead his wrapped his arms around the small of her back, lifting her body closer to his.

"What if I told you that I desired you more than anything right now. I know we have only known each other a few months but it seems longer. And it seems right."

"I want you so bad, Chloe. You must know what you do to me."

"I have an idea. But for the sake of investigation, let's say I don't. Why don't you show me."

His hand found it's way inside of her jeans and under the bit of silk she called panties. She gasped and kissed him hard, nibbling on his bottom lip. His thumb swirled over her and she cried out in his mouth, her grip on his shoulders tightening.

"Tell me you want this Chloe. If you say stop, I will. I need to be inside of you, more than I need anything."

"Need you, Lucifer, so much", she panted.

Her jeans were ripped away, finding themselves hanging from the ceiling fan. The panties were no match for the devil as he tore them away with his teeth. He then settled between her legs, kissing up and down her thighs, driving her mad with frustration. Chloe grabbed his head and shoved it where she wanted and began riding his face. He licked fast and deep, trying to keep up with her. Her hips swiveled and she took ahold of his ears, screaming her pleasure as she did.

"I'm horny as hell Lucifer so if you were serious about getting inside of me, I'd say do it now, before the mood passes."

He gave her his most lecherous smile and yanked his pants down one handed.. He eyes grew wide at the size of him and she licked her lips in anticipation. True to form, his detective didn't want love making, she wanted the old rough and tumble. Spreading her legs wide, he rubbed himself against her entrance a few times, teasing her. She leaned up and grabbed him by the ass, forcing him inside of her. She couldn't wait anymore,"Father in Heaven", he screamed as she held him in place with her legs, grinding against him. She was never this wild before. She had taken total control and was using him to get off. He could get used to this. Must be a perk of the pregnancy hormones. Before he knew it, her walls clenched around him and grabbed his hands, putting them on her breasts, "Pinch them, Lucifer, I need it."

He was more than happy to oblige and as he did, he felt her gush around him, covering him in her essence. He was undone then and spilled his seed deep inside of her. Out of breath and panting, he fell over on top of her, kissing her all over her face. He rolled to his side and pulled her close. The devil was indeed blushing. His lovely detective had already fallen asleep. "My greedy wench. How I love you."

 **Heaven**

Michael stood wide eyed and shocked. In all of his years watching the humans, he had never seen a human female take from her mate like that. Being with child made the Decker woman aggressive. When he had gotten her pregnant with the girl child, she laid there as if she was dreaming. He had been her dream lover only long enough to see that she was with child and then he had to leave her. Father's only goal that time was for Beatrice to be brought forth in human form. Now the babe in her belly was literally the devil's spawn. Would she find out one day that her progeny are angels brought forth to save the humans from themselves? He said a silent prayer that Lucifer didn't screw this up.

 **Somewhere in L.A.**

Dan laid in bed sucking his thumb. Lucifer was the devil. Everything he learned in church proved it. The way that smarmy fuck would ask people what the desire or if they wanted to make a deal. Seriously, he called Nickelback mom rock. Only the devil would say that about the greatest band in history. Dan had studied all the religious texts he could get his hands on, trying to figure out how to kill Lucifer but it seemed hopeless. He would just go to hell and come back over and over. If Chloe wasn't around, Lucifer would just go away. Maybe Chloe needed to die. At least then he wouldn't have to pay child support for two brats that weren't his. Tomorrow, he was going to demand a DNA test, anyway.

As he closed his eyes to try and sleep, that same face filled his field of vision and he screamed. That burnt monster with flaming eyes was all he could see. Great, he pissed himself again. No rest for the douche, he had sheets to change and wash. Until Lucifer was gone, he decided, it was time to invest in some adult diapers.

 **At Casa De Decker**

Lucifer picked his angel up and carried her to her room upstairs. She was slightly heavier than before but it was of no consequence to him. He had preternatural strength and stamina, though his stamina had been greatly abused this evening. His kicked back the blanket and laid her down, covering her. He went back downstairs to his car to retrieve his spare set of clothes. Since he began working with the detective, he always kept a set in case he got bloody or dirty. He buttoned his pants and was about to turn off the lights when the front door flew open and Trixie ran in crying. Ms. Shirley, her friend's nanny stood in the doorway holding Trixie's over night bag with a surprised look on her face.

"Is Chloe home?"

"She's sleeping. She's exhausted. Can I assist you. I'm Lucifer, Lucifer Morningstar,"he said, giving her his trademark 'that's right bitch, I'm Satan", smile.

"Perhaps. Trixie was having nightmares and begged to be brought home. Is she alright with you?

"I don't know. Beatrice are you alright with me?", he asked the child as she ran and threw herself around him.

The young nanny smiled and held out the bag to Trixie, saying they would try again some other time as she clutched the cross on her necklace. As if that would save her. Lucifer chuckled as she skidded away and he hoped she made it to her vehicle without falling on her bum. He didn't want to have to deal with that tonight.

"So, spawn, what happened that brought such an abrupt end to your overnight festivities?"

"Well, there were four other girls at Morgan's house and Kassedy Clinton said daddy looked like a killer, like he killed cereal. Then I had a dream he was trying to kill you, me and mommy but we were all big boxes of cereal. You were Froot Loops, I was Lucky Charms and mommy was Raisin Bran. Anyway, they shook me awake and I had to come home to make sure mommy was okay. Is she?

"Your mother is very tired and she is sleeping. I was just about to leave but since you're home, I suppose I'm obligated to stay and make sure you fare through the night undamaged."

"Can I have a snack, I'm hungry?"

"I don't know, am I allowed to feed you after midnight? You won't turn into something else will you?

She kicked his shin playfully, "I'm a girl, not a gremlin. You're silly, Lucifer. You're a lot like your dad and brothers."

Slowly the devil turned and looked at the child, "You remember them, Beatrice?"

"I remember everything even the bad music on your ipod. I'm saving myself from ever meeting boyband creeps. I'm glad you and mommy are getting a do-over, though, you were a dummy."

Lucifer's devilish curiosity took over and he leaned over as if conspiring with the child, "How do you know?"

"Silly devil, it was my idea. Like in a video game, you die, you get to re-spawn. Since I'm the spawn, I requested a do over. Easy peasy."

"Child, you're too wise for your own good", he said in awe of the girl. This was her idea, Father just went along with it.

He handed Trixie a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and sat at the table with her while she ate. She made a face and pushed the sandwich away, "Too much jelly."

"Sorry, I'm no Gordon Ramsey, poppet."

"His stuff looks gross. Can we go get late night tacos?"

He looked the child up and down and sighed. Why could he never tell her no?, "Very well, but we're going through the drive through, I don't want to ruin my reputation by being seen with you dressed like that", he said, waving his hand at her Adventure Time pajamas.

The kid shook her head and ran out to the devil's car. She was hungry and didn't care how she was dressed. Food beckoned.

"And no eating in my car. You're known to get car sick."


	14. Chapter 14

Chloe woke up alone in her dark bedroom. She looked around for Lucifer but he was no where in sight. Chloe sighed and sat up a little too fast. A wave of nausea hit her and she ran to the bathroom as fast as her swollen feet would carry her. Heave after heave, the morning sickness was strong and she clung to the porcelain god.

"Detective, as glorious as you are nude, there is something off putting watching you be ill", Lucifer said behind her. As she was about to reply, it came again. She felt her hair being lifted from her neck as he rubbed her back. She hung her head for a few minutes, waiting, making sure it was over.

She waited for the smart ass remark, for him to poke fun at her or to leave in disgust, but he didn't. Instead he began to run a bath and adding her favorite scents and oils. He laid her in the water and took a rag to clean her face. She didn't want anyone seeing her like this, especially the man now bathing her as if it were nothing.

"Beatrice, come here!", he yelled for the child.

She ran in a moment later, "What's wrong?", the concern for her mother making her brow furrow.

"Your mother is ill. I read somewhere incubating humans have a thing called sickness in the morning. Go fetch some crackers and one of those lemon lime drinks you have stashed."

As the child went to do as he bid, Chloe looked up at him, "I'm sorry, Lucifer. I know you have better things to do than play nursemaid to me."

"I believe this is what a best friend and constant companion should do. Now come along, you're calling in today and the child and I shall be your servants. It will be like roleplay, only without the happier ending, like you gave me last night", he said, with a wiggle of his eyebrows. He helped her stand and dried her hair, wrapping her in a towel.

"When I woke up, I thought you had left. For the first time in my life, I was afraid of someone leaving me. Thank-you for being here."

"For honesty's sake, I was going to leave after I put you to bed. Then your spawn returned home and I stayed to care for her. I found out there is such a thing as too much jelly."

"What? Why did she come home? Did she fight with the other girls?"

"No, one of the children said Dan looked like a serial killer and she dreamed of us as murdered breakfast foods...I was Froot Loops."

"Aww, my poor baby. I had an odd dream too. You had wings and I was arguing with your dad and brothers. So weird. I killed one of them and it felt so satisfying."

"What did you girls eat for dinner to give you such dreams?"

"Tuna Casserole."

"Casserole, sounds..appalling. Now, I do believe you have a phone call to make."

Today, in the old timeline, she got shot by a Jimmy. He couldn't let that happen to her now, not with his heir in her belly. He could still scare the man into a bowel movement and get the creep convicted on his own. Maybe he would even have time to visit Dan, ensure that he stays away.

Chloe, Trixie and Lucifer had tea with 6 stuffed animals. He then taught the girl how to rub her mother's feet knowing it would only get worse. Seems his child was wrecking havoc on Chloe's body. On impulse, her cupped his hands around her belly, trying to soothe the wee one inside. He could feel the life force bursting forth and he stared at her stomach in awe. Was this how his Father felt when he made these humans?

"What ever you're doing, please never stop. All the aches and pains have stopped."

He leaned back against the arm of the sofa and spread his legs out in front of him, "Sit and lean back against me, we'll see if this helps."

Chloe quickly complied. She would do anything to feel the peace she just felt again. She laid against his chest and he lifted her top, rubbing her belly from the sides to the middle. She cooed and tilted her head back, kissing his cheek.

"Mommy, Lucifer, the douche is outside. He looks drunk", Trixie yelled in warning.

Lucifer slid out from under Chloe and ran to the door. He knew what was coming, Dan was going to try to give Chloe a beating. Well he'd see about that.

"Detective, take the child and go upstairs. No matter what you hear, do not come down. Understood?" Chloe agreed and took Trixie by the hand, "That goes for both of you, offspring", he said, wagging a finger at the girl.

Once Chloe and Trixie were upstairs, Lucifer straightened his shirt and tie and flung the door open. There, wobbling on his feet was Detective Douche wearing nothing but and adult diaper and a wife beater tank top. How appropriate.

"Douche, what a surprise! To what do I owe the pleasure? I really didn't expect to see you so soon."

"Shut the fluck up. Get behind me, Satan", Dan said, holding a giant pimp cross up from his necklace.

Lucifer cocked his head at the douche and reached out, yanking the cheap chain and cross from Dan's neck, examining it in his hand, "What an exquisite piece of aluminum, Danny. I didn't know you bought your metallic finery from the local ninety-nice cent store."

"Look, bro, you need to get out of my way. I have come to see Chloe, I'mma give her an abortion", he said stumbling forth.

Dan didn't get to say much else. He found himself flat on his back. As stars circled his head, Lucifer picked him up and threw him in the trunk of his car. He hoped Chloe and Beatrice weren't watching but if they were, he would explain the dire need to relocate the douche to the basement of Lux.

He hopped in and started the ignition. He gazed up at the house and saw no one peaking from the windows so he sped off to get to work. The Douche was going to receive a most fitting punishment. Once at the club, he parked in back, by the loading dock so no one would see him unload his cargo. It wouldn't matter a whit to him if they did but he was in no mood to put on the charm He had the devil's work to do.

Dan found himself dropped on his diaper padded ass in a room with only one light bulb swinging from the ceiling. It was casting creepy shadows on the wall and he once again pissed himself. Lucifer paced around him in circles like a wolf on the hunt. Dan watched him, wondering if he was going to pounce. Lucifer stroked his chin for a moment before yelling for Maze. Instantly, the demon woman was by his side.

"Well, well. What do we have here?"

Lucifer decided it was time to tell Maze everything. About the timeline, the do-over and the child in Chloe's womb. The demon grew wide eyed as she soaked in the news. He then told her about the douche showing up to kill his heir. Maze dropped to one knee in front of her Lord and bowed her head.

"The prophecy has come true. Our king has sired an offspring."

"Seems like that's the case, but why are you on your knee. You're not a submissive demon, I didn't create you that way."

"I'm trying to swear an oath to protect you and yours but, dammit, you interrupted me."

"Ah, so sorry, carry on."

"You ruined the moment",she said, standing. "What are you going to do with him and why did you dress him like that?"

"That was not my doing. He showed up at the detective's house like that threatening to abort the babe."

"Are you going to end him or do you have something more nefarious in mind?", she asked smiling and licking her lips.

"Ending him would be so easy, really, but I want him to suffer."

Their conversation finally registered in Dan's Pabst Blue Ribbon soaked brain. The kid was Lucifer's?, "You knocked up Chloe? So, you're like, what, having Rosemary's baby or some shit?"

Maze kicked him in the face without a blink, "No one told you to speak, maggot."

"You know, in the last timeline, Chloe gutted him with one of your blades. You were so disappointed. I say, string him up, by his eye lids and we go from there. I have to get back to Chloe, she wasn't well when I left her. Do as you please with him but save some for me."

Maze gave him a brief bow and Dan, well, he shat himself. No one was going to change him either. He smelled awful but Maze was used to those in her charge defecating themselves when the reality of their situation finally hit them.

Maze kicked him again for good measure and went to get her special bag. She was sure she had some old fishing hooks in there from when they came topside. Back then, Lucifer thought people still fished for their food. Now, how she had to decide if she should use twine or fishing line.

His arms and legs were chained to iron rings jutting from the wall. She put a dirty sock from the alley in his mouth and a half iron mask over his the bottom of his face so she wouldn't have to listen to him cry. Maze then gave a grin that was just this side of smug. Now the fun part. Dan would soon have his eyes wide open. Maze laughed, seeing him shake at the sight of the old rusted fish hooks. Sorry, shit stain.

 **Casa De Decker**

"Chloe, darling, I'm back!"

Trixie ran to greet him, all smiles, "Mommy fell asleep. She says the baby in her belly makes her tired. I told her that's what boys do. She thinks it could be another girl, but I know.", she said, pointing to her head.

"And just how do you know, did you peek at one of Mommy's ultrasounds?"

"No, silly, it's too soon for that. Your dad told me."

If Lucifer was capable of choking, he would have. Why was dear old dad conducting so many clandestine conversations with this child? It was almost as if he were using her as a messenger. Or, she could be the spawn of a messenger. Bullocks!

"So, dear old dad says it's a boy?", he asked casually. If he was going to get any information about any of this, the child would tell him.

The girl held out her hand, "A hundred bucks or you'll have to wait to find out. You hate to wait."

"Bloody little con artist is what you are", he griped, taking out his wallet and handing her five twenties. "Well, what do you know?"

"Grandfather, that's what he said to call him, said you needed a son and I needed a brother so he decided mommy was going to give you a boy child who would bring the light back into the world."

Lucifer inhaled deeply. This information made him feel unsteady. His Father had a hand in the forming babe's existence and that said kid would bring the light back into the world. Which meant Trixie was the voice God in all matter relating to the child, no wonder Maze had mentioned a prophecy. Beatrice was a messenger. Michael was her sperm donor. Bullocks, he would end Michael for touching Chloe. He was also pissed at all of them. If Chloe and Beatrice were so important to Dad's grand old plan, why did he let them suffer such abuse at the hands of a douche? Someone had some explaining to do and this time, it wasn't him.

"Let's go check on your mother and see how she feels about your male child theory. Here, listen to my iPod until she awakens. It's got a massive library of songs, all of them absolutely perfect", he said, handing the girl the gadget.

"No way, uh-uh, I know what's on there. No way, I don't want my brains running out of my ears like a smoothie", she said backing away from him like the device he held out was a hand grenade.

"You'll love it one day."

"Highly doubt it, "she stated as they took the stairs two at a time.

"Then I know an exquisite way to torture you, either way, Lucifer wins."

"Butthead", she teased as they went into Chloe's room.

Lucifer was concerned almost immediately. The detective was breathing hard and she was flushed. Her belly caught his eye as it moved like someone was swimming inside. To his untrained eye, it looked bigger and rounder than it had when he left.

"Yeah, she's fatter. Your dad says it's natural and that he will be born faster than human babies", the girl said, as if it were nothing.

"Dad spread literal Miracle-Gro on this one, didn't he?"

Then he heard it, that damnable wing flapping which usually heralded in bad news. Probably Amenadiel with something stupid to say. But, no, it was much worse. It was Gabriel. His butt kissing brother.

"What now?"

"Father has a message for you."

Lucifer threw up his hands in frustration,"Well, no need for all the pomp and circumstance, just spill it."

The angel shrugged, "She's having twins!"

Then he was gone.


	15. Chapter 15

Lucifer got a rude awakening after he fainted. Since when does Satan faint. Oh yes, twins. Beatrice stood over him with a pink sand pail in her hand. She had dumped cold water on his face and was now laughing at his suffering. How very heavenly. Then a distressing thought crossed his mind and he gave the girl a hard look, "That better not have been toilet water."

"If it was, you'd be blue. I'd call you Lucismurf. Maybe next time."

"There will be no next time, that was an anomaly, The devil does not have fainting spells."

"He does, I have proof", she said waving his phone at him.

Before he could snatch it back, Chloe moaned loudly. Both he and the girl ran to her room to see what was going on. He gently shook the woman and she said opened her eyes slowly, "Oh, hey, Lucifer", she said almost whispering, "I'm super hungry. Can you go downstairs and see what's in the fridge?"

"Absolutely, but what would you like?"

"Fried chicken, a massive bucket of greasy fried chicken. Oh, and some mashed potatoes and gravy and biscuits."

"I don't think you have any of that in the fridge. I think a trip to visit Colonel Sanders is in order. Let's get you dressed and go. You need to eat. I suppose a bucket of lard will suffice for now."

"Shut up. The baby wants chicken."

Lucifer rolled his eyes. He had read in his book about human incubation that the female of the species sometimes developed cravings that sometimes seemed unreasonable. He supposed this wasn't one of those times.

A short while later, they pulled into the parking lot and Lucifer wrinkled his nose at the scent of grease permeating the air. This was not his usual fare when he deemed to eat human food but it's what she desired so of course he caved. He held the door open for her and the girl and told them to sit while he ordered. He got two buckets, one original and one extra crispy. They could take the left overs home.

Chloe and Trixie sat in the back booth, Chloe's stomach growling. She kept turning her head to make sure he ordered enough. She was ravenous. Trixie tapped her on the shoulder.

"Yes, baby?"

"I took a picture of Lucifer on his butt, look."

Chloe took Lucifer's iPhone in her hand and laughed at the image of the man flat on his back. As she went to hand the phone back, she slid her thumb across a video file accidentally. A video of her and Lucifer in a hospital began to play. She was bloody and her face was a mess. He was down on one knee asking her to marry him and the her on the video said yes. What was this? Had she had some accident and lost her memory. Was she really married to Lucifer? Too many questions. She paused the video and sat the phone in front of Trixie. Lucifer was walking their way, trying to balance 2 trays of food. He sat it down with a smile, "I'm Lucifer and I'll be your waiter this evening. What would you ladies like to drink with your meal?"

"I'll have a Dr. Pepper and Mommy will have tea", the child said, enjoying it far too much.

Chloe blinked, lost in thought until the scent of the fried meat hit wafted to her nose. She grabbed a bucket and hugged it to her chest, yanking a drumstick out and chomping into it. A short moment later, an almost orgasmic moan filled the restaurant. Chloe was on her fourth piece and was enjoying it a little too much.

"Darling, I'm glad you're enjoying the food but perhaps turn the volume down on the moans."

Chloe kicked his shin under the table, giving him the evil eye, "Yes, dear."

"Lucifer, mommy watched the video of your hospital wedding. You're in so much trouble. As that old show says, Luci you got some 'splaining to do."

His fork fell and he looked up, wiping the corners of his mouth with the cheap paper napkin. The look on her face was amusement mixed with confusion. Only she could pull that off and still be the most desirable creature on the planet.

"Let's finish our meal and go home and discuss things, shall we?"

"You're going to tell me everything or I may be tempted to shoot you."

"You already have, detective, you already have."

"Going against everything I stand for, I'll wait until I get home to interrogate you. Right now, I'm starving and I may eat every morsel on these trays", she said, dipping a chicken wing into the gravy bowl.

 **In Heaven**

"Woohoo, did you see that?", Gabe said, jumping around like he was watching a basketball game.

"We saw, all of Heaven saw that. If she shoots him, he goes back to hell, right?", Michael asked.

"Not this time, he gets fast tracked right back home with us."

"Then maybe we should all be praying he can explain things sufficiently enough that she doesn't kill him."

"Michael, what is your issue? If Lucifer comes home, he comes home. He's been punished long enough."

"It's not that. What bothers me is he is so cocky and sure of himself. And dad will always love him best. Even she loves him."

"Michael, are you jealous of our brother?"

"Never, Gabe, angels don't get jealous."

 **At Lux**

Maze hadn't had this much fun in a long time. Dan had been already been a pinata, a punching bag and she had scared him using a trick Lucifer taught her. She used his own worst fears against him to see what terrified him. No surprise, it was Lucifer. Now, he was dressed in a frilly neon orange tutu and was dancing for her amusement. He still had the fish hooks in his eyes that were attached to rings in the ceiling. He looked like one of those jewelry box ballerinas that can only turn in a circle. She sat filing her names while the monkey danced. She hoped Lucifer came back soon and told her what to do to finish this clown. If not, she may have to take matters into her own hands. There were 99 ways she could end him right now.

 **Casa De Decker**

Lucifer had driven all the way back to her house gripping the steering wheel so hard, his knuckles had turned white. She hadn't said much at the restaurant and that had him extremely worried. Of course, she had been eating everything in sight in a disgusting display of gluttony. If things went well later, he would punish her for that sin. He went over every scenario in his head, trying to work out just what to say. She was reasonable and would understand. This wasn't his fault, it was his dad's and her spawns idea.

They went inside and she sat on the sofa, unbuttoning her pants and lifting her shirt, rubbing her gut as she chewed on on toothpick, "Explain. Now." Why did this scene remind him of something out of Deliverance? If she began to play a banjo, he was out of there.

He told her everything from day one until right now. All he left out was her killing Dan and how he and Maze were going to send the douche to his demise this time. She was not reasonable. She was fine, had even laughed at his awkwardness until he told her about Doctor Martin. Then she slapped him so hard, he was sure she had broken or at least sprained her hand. Then she ran from him, up the stairs. Last time, she didn't cry like this. She was mad. It must be the hormones. It followed her and found her kneeling on the floor with her head on the foot of the bed. He sat on the bed and pulled her up and onto his lap. She didn't fight or resist.

"You can slap me again if you want. I rather liked it. Kind of kinky."

She held up her purplish fingers, "Can't, I hurt my hand on your face."

"Well, you have your left hand still. Do your worst."

"No, would want you fainting again."

"Bloody spawn."

"Lucifer, why was I not enough for you?"

"What do you mean, darling? I couldn't get enough of you. I was a fool. I really didn't think it would bother you if there was no feeling behind it."

"Well, you were wrong. You know what hurt the most, it was how you acted like it didn't matter. Your Luciferness made it seem like it was alright. I was right there in the room."

"Aside from cutting of me manly bits and mounting them upon the wall, what can I do to make this right?"

"I'll have to think about it. You're going to have to give me some time to think."

He nodded his understanding and lifted her from his lap, sitting her on the bed. He stood quickly and left the room. No one got to see the devil cry. The child came up to him, not sure if she should hug him or get out of his way.

"See to your mother. I'll call in a few days or a week or whatever."

Trixie ran and tackled him, knocking him down, "No, you can't just leave us. You're supposed to fix everything, not run away. The last time she was madder at you for wanting to leave than she was at you for what you actually did."

The child was right. If he left now, it might give her time to talk herself out of being with him. Like a montage from an 80's movie, every moment he spent with her played through his mind. The looks, the secret glances, the night she drunkenly tried to seduce him, everything. He was not about to let her go.

Chloe came running out of her room, "Don't go!", she yelled with tears rolling down her cheeks, "I can't...I can't lose you, Lucifer."

He stood and closed the gap between them, pulling her into his arms, her belly the only thing coming between the two. He held out an arm to the child and she ran, wrapping herself around his leg. Anyone looking in from the outside would have seen the world's most awkward cuddle hug in history.

"I'm not going anywhere. You have the devil at your mercy."

"Never cheat on me again or I will mount your manly what nots to the wall."

"Yes, dear", he said with a smile. He needed no other women.

"So, am I retiring from the department, again?"

"Absolutely. And while we're on the subject of things you're going to do, let's talk about your eating habits. That cannot possibly be good for the spawns."

"Spawns...plural, as in two?"

"Well, yes. Father sent Gabriel to tell me. That's how your spawn got that picture of me in a most uncompromising position. I fainted."

"Run fast and run far."

"You just said not to leave. Honestly, women are so confusing."

"I'm going to shoot you for doing this to me."

"No, no. Honey? Sweetie? You can't shoot unarmed civilian consultants."

Chloe gave him a sadistic smile, "I think the devil needs a dose of his own punishment. No sex for a year!"

"You've got to be joking. Shoot me, please. It would be less painful."


	16. Chapter 16

A/N As always, I own nothing but my messed up sense of humor. RGP/

"Look, I'm sorry. So very, very sorry", Lucifer said, dropping to his knees. "This is worse than anything I've ever come up with, ever."

Chloe had her back turned to him and couldn't stop smiling, "You can't use your hand either. Nothing, nada, no release for a year."

"What kind of demon are you? Maze wouldn't even do that and she's an expert in the art of torture."

"Answer one question for me and I may be lenient. How, if we went back in time, was that video still on your phone? Shouldn't it have been gone?"

"I was thinking about that. I think Father made sure it stayed so I would have some kind of proof. You're not exactly easy to explain things to in your hormonal condition."

"Well, it's all your fault I'm in this so called hormonal condition, you big jerk!"

"Actually, it takes two darling. I had no idea I could impregnate anyone. It was kind of a big no-no for angels to mingle with the mortals to obtain carnal knowledge of them. There was no way Father wanted children produced from those unions. Until you."

"What's so damn special about me? I'm just like everyone else."

"Actually, you're not quite like everyone else. Seems you have the sacred lineage going for you."

"Don't be trying to use your Luciferness on me, tell me in plain English what you're saying."

"Boring but oh, well. Somewhere in your family tree is the apple of Father's eye, called Jesus. You met him."

"I don't remember dumbass. There's things that seem real and some that are still foggy. The sex, I clearly remember the sex."

"You would, you naughty minx."

"Isn't there something you can do to help me remember, I hate not knowing? I'm still having a hard time rationalizing all of this."

"I've been racking my brain, trying to find a loophole since I woke up with all my memories and learned only the child and I recalled anything. I've come up with nothing. I will say this about Father, when he has a plan, you'd be hard pressed to think of something he hasn't."

"He needs his ass kicked."

"Ah, you said that before. Right to his face. Maybe you're remembering bits and pieces and don't realize it."

"Maybe a long hot soak in the tub will help jog my memory. Would you keep an eye on Trix for a little while for me?"

"Do I have to? She will most likely do something awful to me."

Chloe crossed her arms, "If she does, you deserve it. Please, just put a DVD on and sit with her for a little while. After all I've been through today, it's the least you can do."

"Fine, we'll watch Hot Tub High School."

Trixie walked over and tugged on his jacket, "Seen it, hated it. It was stupid and had no plot, they exploited Mommy's boobs. Let's watch Frozen."

"No, no, no. Anything but that."

"While you children argue over what to watch, I'm going upstairs to soak. You two are so much alike, if I didn't know better, I'd swear you were father and daughter. She's more like you everyday," Chloe said, heading upstairs.

Trixie and Lucifer exchanged looks and sat down on the sofa. Chloe's words struck him as he replayed them over and over. Trixie wrapped her tiny hand around his long fingers and squeezed, "Lucifer, who is my dad, really?"

"I don't know moppet, I thought I did, but now, I'm not so sure. Can I tell you a short story before we put on a movie?"

"Okay," she said, not sure what he wanted to tell her.

"Before I met you, I detested any and all children. They were too pure, innocent. They were automatically repulsed by my presence. Then you came along and what was the first thing you did? You ran to me and not from me. You even hugged me. No one has ever hugged me, in eons, without wanting something from me, until you. It frightened me to my very core. No one hugged the devil or gave him affection. I sat awake many nights, pining for your mother and wondering why you gave me your attention. And if you tell anyone I told you this, I'll deny it."

"Lucifer, even the devil needs a hug. I love you."

He pulled the girl to his side and wrapped his arm around her tiny shoulder, "I love you, too child, more than we both realize."

Chloe covered her mouth with her hand to keep from making a sound. She had stood at the top of the stairs and waited for a few minutes to see if she would have to referee and had heard everything. The man may be Satan but there was nothing evil about him. He was a good man. And he loved her baby. That's when it hit her like a Mack truck carrying a double wide mobile home, she ran to her room so she didn't fall as her head began to spin. All of the memories came flooding back. It felt like someone cracked her skull open and poured it all in.

"Lucifer! I need you!"

He appeared in her doorway moments later, panic in his eyes, "What's wrong? Is it the children? What do I do? Ah, yes, pack an overnight bag, boil water, take some drugs."

"No, Lucifer. I..I remember. I remember everything from before."

"What? How?", he turned his eyes to the sky and pointed a finger, "What did the old man do?"

"I heard what you said to Trixie and all of a sudden everything began to spin around me so I ran in here. Couldn't risk falling."

He ran his hands over her body and head, "You're not bleeding or broken. Everything seems well."

"Shut up and come here,"she said, holding her arms open.

He did as she asked, lying next to her and pulling her close, "Are you alright, are you still angry with me, Chloe? Do you hate me?", all of his insecurities laid bare in two questions.

She didn't speak, she just kissed him. She didn't hate him. He wrapped her tight in his arms, savoring the moment. She had never kissed him this way before. There was an abundance of love and tenderness behind it. When she broke away she looked him right in the eye, "Every time I hugged you, I never wanted anything from you except to be in your arms. Even before we figured our thing out. You always made me feel safe. Like I could just be Chloe and not Detective Decker twenty-four hours a day."

"And with you, it was okay for me to care. Before you, I cared about nothing and no one except for Maze."

Trixie chose that moment to run in, "I figured out what we're going to watch!"

Lucifer sighed and hung his head imagining the horror she chose, "Well, let's hear it!"

"We're going to binge watch Madea movies!"

"Can't we watch, oh I don't know, all the Hellraiser movies? They're way less scary and make more sense."

"Young lady, you are not watching Tyler Perry movies! Find something age appropriate", Chloe admonished.

"Darling, those movies aren't appropriate for any age",Lucifer said with obvious disgust.

Trixie look chagrined for a moment before grinning at the adults, "Fine, we'll watch Pirates of the Caribbean. Mommy loves Johnny Depp. She said he had a cute butt."

Chloe leaned up and glared at the girl, "Trixie!"

"Really detective? Shall I dress up as Captain Jack for you? Or perhaps you'd fancy Edward Scissorhands? No, that would be quite painful if I were to get touchy -feely. Oh, I know, I could dress up like Willy Wonka and feed you my sweets. You're already swollen like Violet Beauregarde."

Chloe grabbed the pillow behind him and hit him in the head,"Ass."

Trixie giggled, she loved it when they played with each other. Her mom was way happier with Lucifer that she was with the douche, even if they had their moments. The douche never made her smile or laugh or play hit him. He only made her cry.

"Well, hop up here moppet, and we'll watch your movies. You'll make an excellent torturer in hell one day," he said, handing her the remote from the nightstand beside Chloe."

"Thank-you, Lucifer. This is sweet", Chloe said, squeezing his hand as the girl settled between them.

"It's no problem. I'm used to her cock blocking."

They both looked at each other and slapped him on the head, "You're going to have to get used to finding other things to do," Chloe said, hiding a grin, "You're still on punishment for a year."

"And people call me evil."

"Maybe I should just spank you and get your punishment out of the way."

Lucifer covered the child's ears, "Shh, not in front of the spawnling."

"She swatted my bottom once when I was 5, it was not fun. My booty was red. I don't think a real spanking would be too great either,"Trixie told him.

"Detective, you swatted this poor, sweet, innocent child like you would a bug? Medieval barbarian!"

Before she could answer, someone was yelling her name downstairs, "Chloe, honey, are you here? I saw your car outside! Chloe?"

"Oh, no. Mom."

Lucifer was out of the bed and running down the stairs. Penelope Decker was a cult movie hero. Though he had met her before, she wouldn't remember him thanks to Beatrice and dear old dad. She was a force of nature.

"Penelope Decker, enchante' darling."

"Mr. Morningstar, how good to see you again. Where's Chloe?

What? She didn't forget. Perhaps Father did screw up this time. He stuck his hands in his pockets and rocked on his heels.

"She's upstairs in bed, she's umm, well just go up and see for yourself. I don't want to risk her maiming me."

"Oh, a surprise? Well, keep my new assistant, Uri, company while I check on my daughter. He's bringing my bags in. He's gorgeous, don't touch, he's mine", she laughed running up the stairs in her heels.

Lucifer shook his head, that woman was something else. Nothing like her daughter at all. Lucifer looked up just in time to see Uriel stumbling up the walk, blinded by suitcases. Uriel, the Steven Q. Urkel of angels was on his way inside. He looked around at all of mama Decker's vases and priceless movie props. Goodbye, pretties, it was nice knowing you.

"Little brother, what are you doing here?"

Uriel jumped 10 feet in the air, dropping all of the bags. Oh, mama was going to be mad. This was going to suck. How mad would father be if he Uriel disappeared?

"I'm errm, guarding Mrs. Decker for a while. Father says there's a bit of an uproar in Heaven so we have to be careful."

He bent over and began picking up the fallen items and repacking them in the case. He wasn't watching what he was doing and hit the table by the door, knocking over a vase, "Was that me?"

Oh no, it was already starting and he hadn't been in the house 30 seconds, "Sit, Uri. I'll get that. Why don't you tell me what's got the heaven hive all stirred up", he inquired, repacking the bags.

"Michael is at it again. He wants to take a kid from you, umm, a Beatrice. He says you have no right to her."

Lucifer felt the familiar hell fire flame inside of him and he gave Uriel a hard look, "Let him try. I'll pluck every feather from all of you bird brains. One by one."

Uriel gulped. He knew Lucifer would do exactly as he said, "I wonder what's keeping Mrs. D?"

"Finding out her daughter is pregnant with the devil's children does take a moment.

Chloe's mom ran down stairs and pulled Lucifer into her arms,"Oh, my sweet new son-in-law. Welcome to the family. I'm so, so happy. I'm going to be a grandmother again! Listen, here's my card. Call me if you or Chloe-Chlo need anything. I'm on my way to the airport. I just stopped by to leave some of my stuff here. I'm between homes and my next movie shoot is in the Ukraine. I'll be there 4 months. I'll try to get back before the birth." She gave him a kiss on the cheek and another hug. "You know, when I thought she was juggling both of you, I secretly hoped she would end up with you. You're beautifu, exciting and virile and she deserves it. Dan, he was so blah and plain. Well, I have to go, Uri, leave those bags there. I don't need any of that. Lucifer, be a doll and stow those away in the closet for me", she pinched Uriel on his cheek, "He's such a cute boy."

She really was a force of nature. She blew in and out like a storm. Lucifer watched them walk back to the car and he saw Penelope toss Uriel the keys, "No don't do that. Oh my father."

As he backed up, he took out all of Chloe's potted plants and a lawn gnome. That was okay, he hated that ugly little bugger anyway. He just hoped that on the way to the airport, they didn't run into any innocent people. Literally.

Chloe crept down the stairs, looking around, "Is she still here?"

"No, she left in a hurry. She seemed to take the news well, though."

"Thank your Father, she's gone. She makes me batty. She did, she was excited. Asked if you were well endowed, which was creepy. Otherwise, she was happy for us."

"You did inform her that I was endowed, right?"

"Eww, Lucifer, no. That's not something you tell your mother."

"My mother would demand to know, she's psychotic that way."

Chloe threw a sofa pillow at him, "Must run in the family, then."

"Lucifer! Mommy! Help! Get big bird off of me!", Trixie screamed from upstairs.

Lucifer was by her side before Chloe could even stand. Michael was hovering over the girl like a vulture. Madness danced in his eyes as he grabbed at the girl, "She's mine, Lucifer. I won't let you have her. You won't win this time."

Trixie ran behind the angel and yanked two handfuls of feathers from his wings causing him to cry out in pain. Lucifer grinned and let his eyes go red, "Let's pluck this bastard, shall we?"

"No!", the angel said, pulling a heavenly vanishing act. He would be back, he would wait until they were asleep.

"Bloody archangels. They try to start a fight, then run away when the shit gets real."

Chloe finally made it to the room, out of breath, "What..what happened?"

"My prick of a brother tried to take Beatrice. She plucked a few of his golden feathers and he ran like the little bitch that he is."

"Lucifer, why did he say I was his? Is he my dad?"

"No, moppet, he's deluded. If he tries to harm you, I'll kill him. You're mine now. Both of you and your mom are mine."

"You're the only dad I want. Dan sucked and that angel guy looked crazy."

Lucifer had forgotten all about Dan. He had an idea and sent a text to Maze. Dan was going to have one hell of an evening.

 **Lux**

 **M** aze yawned, she was bored. Dan had collapsed last night and hadn't woken up since then. The notification tone on her phone went off and she picked it up, expecting another dumb Facebook notice. She regretted making one of those. Dr. Linda had told her it would make her feel more connected here but that was a lie. It made her realize how stupid humans were.

She flicked the screen and saw the text from Lucifer. Oh, this was brilliant and would drive Dan bonkers. She took the snapshot Lucifer sent her of him hugging Chloe and Beatrice, sent it to her laptop and projected the image onto the wall in front of him. She then set it to rotate so the image covered all four walls.

She then did as instructed and drug him to the toilet, dunking his head in the blue water until he woke up, "Come here, Danismurf, I decorated for you." She was glad the basement was sound proof, even those fools in heaven could hear his screams right now.


	17. Chapter 17

A/N First, I have gotta say, blah blah, I own nothing and haven't cashed in (pesky disclaimer). Secondly, man, you guys are making a b!tch want to write today. As long as you read, I'll write. It's an unspoken deal we have, right? Right./

Chapter 17, in which the douche actually uses the douche word amazeballs.

Chloe paced the floor. Her feet hurt but there was no way she could sleep knowing Lucifer's brother was out to get her daughter. Lucifer spent over an hour telling her what he thought about it, how Michael may have sired Trixie but even he had his doubts to that. Beatrice was too sneaky to have an Archangel father. She would be holier than thou and smug as hell. Chloe worried at her bottom lip, chewing and sucking trying to figure out what to do with what little information they had. They needed answers but there was no one to ask. As a detective she was used to finding the perp and getting her confession. None of Lucifer's family would ever confess to anything. Oh, how she would love to pepper his brother with bullets.

Lucifer took her by the shoulders and guided her to the bed, "Sleep. You need it more than anyone. I'll keep watch and if he shows back up, I'll send him back to Father as a rotisserie chicken."

"How can I sleep? That lunatic seems to think he has some claim to my baby and can just come and go here anytime he wants. Did you see how he just vanished earlier?"

"He didn't vanish, his wings just help him move faster than mortal eyes have the capability of seeing."

"Why hasn't your damn dad done anything to stop this? Does he condone the kidnapping of my baby?"

"I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I don't think dad has anything to do with this. If he knew, I'm sure he would stop his raging angel of never ending butthurt."

"We have to do something. We can't just sit and wait for him to show back up. I mean, what's he going to do, to her? I'm scared."

"Do not be frightened, I give you my solemn vow, nothing will happen to either of you. Not on my watch."

"If anyone can stop him, I have faith that you can but I hate that we even have to worry about this. Why can't your family keep their far too perfect noses out of our business?"

Lucifer leaned over and kissed her on the forehead, "Tis the way of the holy. They're assholes and Father does nothing about it anymore, I suppose but I do know I'd go against Father to keep my girls safe."

Chloe sat on the edge of her bed, Trixie was spread-eagle in the middle and snoring way too loud for such a small girl. She smiled at her child. She was about to lie down when he stomach rumbled so loudly, she could have sworn thunder came from her belly. She was hungry. She wanted eggplant parm with jelly beans and onion rings on top. Mmm, that sounded amazing.

"Lucifer, the kiddos are hungry. I'm going to go heat up a frozen dinner."

"Again? How much do the unborn devour? Am I going to have to take an actual human job after they spring forth from your vagina to keep them fed?"

"Shut up! I'm hungry, I'll be downstairs."

"Father, I blame you for this gluttony", he said, shaking a fist heavenward.

Exactly four minutes later, the microwave gave a ding so he decided to go see what she had gotten herself into. Her found her with Beatrice's Easter basket, dumping old jelly beans onto a vile heap of purple vegetable with tomato sauce. She then topped it off with those awful smelling onion chips.

He quickly walked over and grabbed the plate from her, dumping the whole thing down the garbage disposal, "What in the name of Father, are you doing? You can't eat that! I refuse to let you pollute my spawn with garbage. The chicken was one thing, but, that, that was unholier than me."

Chloe began to sniffle, why was he yelling at her? It wasn't her fault she had weird cravings, it was his, he was the devil, "But I'm so hungry, why are you yelling at me?" she wailed.

"I'll fix you something. How about an omelet? Would you like that? Don't cry, come here", he said hugging her.

"You're an ass, you know that, right?"

"I believe I've heard that before, who told me that? Oh, yes, you."

Her growling tummy sent him reeling backwards as he looked down. How could such tiny creatures make so much noise? "Right, better feed you before they claw their way out and skin me."

"Would serve you right, ass. You know what sounds good, actually? A bowl of cereal with bananas."

He nodded and went to the fruit bowl, grabbing a nice, ripe one and took down the oat bran cereal.

"No, not that, I want the Count Chocula mixed with the Fruity Pebbles."

"Disgusting. You are truly disgusting. How long will you be gastronomically abusing yourself?"

"Shut up and feed me or I'll make it two years. I'm a sex camel, I have enough stored up to last me for years."

She had never seen anyone move as fast as he was. She had no intention of denying him sex, she wanted it just as bad as he did. She needed it, but dammit, screwing with him was fun. And she wasn't going to stop anytime soon. He could sweat a little while longer.

He sat the bowl in front of her and backed away like one would with an animal in the wild. She didn't even bother using the spoon, she just poured the concoction in her mouth, barely chewing. Not even five minutes passed and she was done, pushing the empty bowl his way, "God, that was good."

"He had nothing to do with it, you humans, always praising him while I'm doing all the work."

"Poor wittle Wucifer, so mistreated, let Chloe make it better."

He walked around the corner shaking his head at the woman. He loved her madly. It was as if she was made just to be his mate. She grinned and with no warning, yanked his pants open and dropping to her knees slowly, took him into her mouth

"Oh, oh my. If this is how you pay me back, please allow me to fix all of your meals."

"Lucifer, shut up."

"Right, love. Less talky, more sucky. Ooh, daddy like."

She expertly rolled her tongue over the tip and along the underside of his shaft. With her free hand she teased his sac gently. He was about to finish when she pulled away and stood up. With a grin more evil than he had seen on any demon in hell, she turned her back to him and walked into the living room.

"What the bloody fuck was that, you literally left me hanging. How could you do such a thing?"

She sat all the way back on the sofa as he chased her in, pants around his ankles, "You can't just tease me and run away, Chloe. That is cruel. A man, well, not just any man, but me, has needs, Chloe. You can understand that, right my darling? Now, let's quit playing and help the devil get his rocks off."

"I can and I did, Lucifer. There's really nothing you can do about it."

"Is this some role reversal, have you become Satan and I'm your unwitting victim, Chloe?"

She stood then and unbuttoned her top, throwing it at him. Next came the bra that held her swollen breasts in place. She swung it on a finger and threw it across the room. Next came the pants and panties. He was speechless as she sat back on the sofa and tugged her nipples. The motioned him forth with a wag of her finger and he almost fell trying to get to her. He kicked his shoes off and stepped out of his pants. He stood over her licking his lips, taking in the view. She was a goddess sitting there with her thighs open and her foot propped up on the couch. He wanted to devour her.

"Bow before me Saint Lucifer and pledge your loyalty to this", she said stroking her sex with a finger.

The minx was enjoying this. He knelt down and swore fealty to her bare pink lips as he kissed up and down her thighs. It wasn't enough for her so she grabbed him by the ears and shoved him where she wanted him. He greedily licked and sucked until her ass was lifting off the sofa. He cupped her cheeks and squeezed them roughly. "Fuckity fuck!", she half screamed.

"Slide off the sofa and get on your knees. I need in you, now", he told her.

She obeyed, wiggling her ass at him. He leaned down and kissed a cheek before giving it a slap. She was magnificent and he didn't think he would ever get enough of this woman. His woman.

He opened the lips just a bit and slid into her. She needed no more priming, she was ready to go. He took her hips in his hands and began to move, slowly at first until she turned and growled at him, telling him to give it to her hard. He needed no more instruction and slammed in and out of her, faster than he ever had, showing her what he could do when he wasn't holding back. She moaned and ground her hips against him, taking every inch of him inside of her. He couldn't believe her brazen behavior. She screamed into a pillow as she finished with him not too far behind. He slid out of her and wrapped his arms around her waist, lying his head on her back, catching his breath, "My Father, woman, you are spectacular in your wontoness."

Chloe chucked, "Why, thank-you. Can you get up? I have to pee, now."

She stood and waddled to the bathroom, the familiar soreness had already settled into her thighs and she smiled. She couldn't believe how good he was to her. He always made sure she was satisfied before he took any pleasure for himself. She had to wonder why, in the other timeline, she wasn't all over him. Stupid Chloe.

She took and rag and cleaned herself up before sliding a robe on. She went back into the living room to find him cleaning the mess they had made. She grinned to herself. He was already housebroken and she didn't even have to train him.

"You don't have to do that, Lucifer. I'll get it in the morning. Let's get some sleep."

Lucifer shook his head, very aware that if he went to bed, Michael may strike, "I'm going to sit up and make sure all is well. You, my lady need to go lie down, You incubators need rest."

"You think he will come back this soon?"

"I'm not sure of anything, but I can't slip up and second guess anything. He could have other lower ranking angels, helping him. We don't know the variables."

She yawned as she nodded and sat on the sofa, curling her feet under her, "I guess you would know more about this than me. I just don't get it, ya know, why would he try to come for her now, why wait all of these years?"

"They're jealous, petty bird brains. I don't know what he is thinking."

She didn't answer and he looked up to see her asleep. He took the blanket from the back of the sofa and covered her up. In the dim light, she was even more beautiful. It was barely 10pm so he called Maze and told her she could open the club for the night, if she wished and that he would be by tomorrow to check on their guest and go over the books. She seemed ok with it. At least she could find someone to party with if she wanted. The demon had served well and needed a break from the douche.

 **In the soundproof basement.**

Dan was near madness. Why was it, the bad guys always got the girl?That jerk Morningstar always, al-fucking-ways got what he wanted and Dan was sick of it.

"Hello, Espinoza Dan."

"Who the fuck are you? Another mental friend of Lucifer's?"

"I am no friend of the fallen one. I am Beatrice's biological father."

Dan looked up at the way too pretty man and shook his head. Of course, she would bang this dude. He looked like one of those Abercrombie & Fitch models with his almost golden tan skin and surfer boy blonde hair. So, how did Trixie look Latina? Stupid genetics.

"What the hell do you want? If you didn't bring beer, then go. As you can see, I'm a special guest here."

With a wave of his hand, all of the shackles, chains and fishhooks that held Dan in place were gone and there wasn't a mark on his skin. He was wearing grown-up clothes and no diaper. He felt amazeballs.

"What I want is what you want. Lucifer's demise. I want you to kill Lucifer Morningstar."

Dan grinned at the man and nodded, "You want me to bust the proverbial cap in his ass, I'm your , I feel amazeballs right now, like I could do anything."

"You have three days to do the job, or else."The man was then gone and Dan was back in his shitty apartment. "Amazeballs, this rocks." He went to the fridge to grab a beer and play a round of Rock Hero while he decided how to kill Lucifer. Air Guitar was life.


	18. Chapter 18

A/N Little secret, I know things but alas I own nothing. I've had a couple of people ask me why I haven't addressed Season 2 events. My question to you is, is that what you want? Let me know. 😉 /

Maze froze as she mixed herself a drink. She felt the shift in the air, almost like when Amenadiel was stalking around but stronger. Lucifer had once told her that when one of the Heavenly Host were close by, the hell bound would feel it to their core and her core was shaken, not stirred at this very moment. She scanned the dancing humans, none of them frozen in place like they should have been. She told Maxim, the new guy, to watch the bar as she tucked her blades into the belt of her catsuit. It has been a long time she she took on one of the Mighty Seven and she was itching for a fight after everything they had done to Lucifer.

She glided through the gyrating bodies, her eyes scanning each face. She knew each of Lucifer's brothers well enough to know them right off but she recognized no one here. She checked the storeroom, the service elevator, Lucifer's penthouse, and even the four restroom. All she found was a puking underage girl, who swiftly got her ass kicked out of the club.

There was one last place to check, the basement. She had a sinking feeling she wasn't going to like what she found. Taking the metal stairs three at a time, Maze reached the landing and kicked the door off of it's hinges, not bothering with the knob or lock. Detective Diaperpants was gone, her laptop was smashed and all that was left behind was the lingering odor of apples and cinnamon. Michael. Oh, it was on, baby. She stormed back upstairs to call Lucifer. He would know what to do with his stool pigeon brother and the douche.

 **Casa De Decker**

Chloe woke up a bit later, hungry as usual. She settled for a bowl a grapes which Lucifer considered tame. She drank half a gallon of milk and laid back on the sofa lazily rubbing her full belly. Lucifer, meanwhile, was pacing as he thought about the more or less impending fight with his tool of a brother.

"Listen, as much fun as we're having here, perhaps we should move to the penthouse. I can't imagine Hurricane Penny wanting the spawnlings born here. Speaking of the spawnlings, when are you going to see the O/B, Chloe?"

"Day after tomorrow. I went to one appointment after I missed my period. They said it looked good, of course that was before you found out."

"And before dear old dad decided you were going to be fruitful and multiply twice."

"Lucifer, can I ask you something. I know it's going to sound silly but they won't have tails or horns, right?"

He ran his palm over his face and through his hair, he had been stressing over something similar. Wings. What if they had wings?

"I have never had nor ever will I have a tail and horns. But I did have wings, darling."

"Well, you need to get them back, if these kids are born with wings and try to fly away, you're going to have to be able to chase them", Chloe said, frantically.

"Calm down. If there is anything atypical or 'extra' on the ultrasound or sonogram, I'll pull them out and we'll see what happens. In this timeline, no one has stolen them and they have yet to be burned."

"Get them, now. Please. What if the angel of assache comes back? You'll need them to kick his ass", she begged.

"We'll all go in the morning, I'm not leaving you alone at night. Please think upon moving to my penthouse. There's plenty of room and much safer than this."

"You're right. As much as I love it here, we need to move on. We're too secluded out here on the beach. The one reason I came here is now the reason I have to leave. Can we do the packing in the morning? I'm exhausted."

"An old song lyric comes to mind right now, oh yes, as Ice Cube said,"So deep, so deep, put her ass to sleep."

"Just stop right there. You cannot rap."

He crossed his arms over his chest, "Hater, jealous of my skills."

You only have one skill, the ability to annoy the hell out of me."

"You love it, detective."

"What can I say? I'm just a glutton for punishment."

"A glutton yes but I've neglected punishing you. You do know gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins, yes? I believe lust in on that list, too. Oh Chloe, how will I punish you for your sinning?"

"If anybody knows the seven deadly sins, it would be you. How many of them do you practice?"

"Touche'."

His phone rang then and he flipped the screen, seeing Maze calling, "Yes, Maze?"

She told him about Michael and he felt himself stiffen. Chloe watched as he shifted from the gorgeous man to this utterly terrifying thing. She struggled to control her breathing, telling herself this was Lucifer. When he crushed the phone in his hand, she sank back into the sofa, trying to make herself invisible. He turned and walked over to her, examining her like her had never seen her before. He held out his charred hand to her and when she took it, he gently pulled her to her feet. He spun her around and pulled her back to his chest. She didn't know what to do so she stayed calm, he was still her Lucifer in there. He ran his hands over her stomach and the babes inside reacted instantly, kicking her hard. He spun her back to face him, smiling as he stroked her cheek.

"If you could only see your face right now, Chloe. It's priceless."

"You asshole", she screeched, hitting him with a pillow as he changed back into his old self.

"Sorry, Satan. Wait a bloody minute, you're not terrified of my true form or going crazy like the other humans do. I have zero effect on you. You truly are immune to me in any aspect. Father, you sly bastard. Okay listen, I'm going to be completely honest with you. If you are angered by what I tell you, so be it. When Dan came, he was going to hurt you, abort the kid himself was what he said, so I took him to Lux and locked him in the basement. Your authorities would have done nothing to him. He manages to worm his way out of things. I am duty bound, it seems, to protect you. Well, Maze just found out Michael let him go."

Chloe put her hands on her hips and shook her head, "Just be glad Dan is too dumb and proud to say you kidnapped him. He'll try to get you back himself. So now we have Douche and Dumbass after us. You're the damn devil, Satan, don't you have any special powers to use against them."

"Not since tossing the wings."

"Look, I'm not going to pretend you didn't have a reason for slicing them off when you did, but you need them now. I need you to have them. Dan, he's, the violence under that douche sack is real", she cried, looked upwards, "Lucifer's dad, if you can hear me, don't let Dan hurt us anymore. Keep Lucifer safe. And please stop Michael from taking my daughter. Mercy, we've had enough."

"He's not listening. He never does."

Chloe began to cry, why couldn't they just be left alone. Why couldn't they just be happy and live their lives? Heaven and hell could war later.

 **The Garden**

"Father, did you hear that?", Raziel asked.

Lucifer's younger sister, Raziel or RayRay as Samael had called her, had been eating her chocolate pudding when Chloe Decker's prayer rang through Heaven. That human had never asked the All Father for anything in her life and now she was praying for Lucifer.

God came and stood by one of the three female angels he created and stroked her black hair. He had indeed heard that. All of it, but what stung him the most, was when she asked him to stop Michael.

"Raziel, I know Jesus has asked you cease your adventures on Earth and stay with us for a bit but I have a mission for you."

Raziel, the angel Trixie Decker's features were based on, grinned up at her father and tossed the pudding cup and stood. She didn't have to say a word, she had a feeling she knew were this was going. There was going to be some mischief. This should be amusing. For all of her refined tastes, the girl angel loved trouble.

Father waved his hand and in front of her were the biggest, whitest, and most divinely enhanced wings he had ever created. Better and more full of God's glory than the ones that were given to Lucifer before.

"Take those to your brother. Make him take them. Tell him Michael has gone rogue and I have lost any power over him. Tell him to do as I say, not as I do. Be the father I should have been. Protect his children, all three of them."

Gabriel came forth, "Do you wish me to assist her, Father?"

"No, I have another task for you. Bring me Espinoza Dan, by any means necessary."

Gabriel rocked on his heels, "OH, goody. I've been waiting for this."

"And Gabriel, my son, when I say any, I mean any."

The angel nodded and was gone. God was going to do what he should have done eons ago, make things right with his son. He turned to his daughter, who looked like an age progression image of Trixie Decker and nodded,"It's time, go forth."

The girl grabbed the wings and winked at her dad, "If I wasn't such a good angel, I might be jealous of these things."

"If the day should come and you have the need, I might fashion you a pair, now go. The time draws near."

Moments later the girl popped into Chloe Decker's living room with a huge grin on her face.

"What the fuck?", Chloe screamed while Lucifer lit up like a Christmas tree. "RayRay!"

"Hey, Sami. Brought ya present from Dad."

"Another relative?",Chloe said, sitting on the couch, holding her head.

"Baby sister, actually. I adore this one, she won't hurt you or the children."

"Dude, no way. I'm a good angel. Got any chocolate pudding?"

"I could be persuaded to whip you up some after you tell us why you're here."

"Oh, simple. I brought you these,"she said holding up the new wings.

Chloe's jaw dropped. They filled her living room with an almost blinding glow. Lucifer could feel the power radiating from them, Father had put a lot of himself into the creation of these. Tears stung his eyes when he realized what this meant.

Raz tugged at the shirt he was wearing, "May I, it would be an honor?"

Lucifer looked into her violet eyes and nodded, pulling the shirt off. As the wings touched his skin, he screamed. Power coursed through his veins and almost passed out from it but Raz held him steady on his feet. All of the screams and noise woke Trixie and she ran downstairs to see what was going on and whens he saw the girl angel she ran and hugged her. The angel smiled and looked down at the girl.

"Whoa, hold up. You look just like me, kid. Except for the eyes."

Lucifer looked from Raz to Trixie. It was uncanny. Like a before and after photo. Father had modeled Beatrice on the Raziel female blueprint. Explained her skin tone, hair, everything. The only difference was while Raziel had violet eyes, Trixie's were a chocolate brown.

"Are we related?", Trixie asked.

"Just think of me as your aunt, girly. We have a common relative,"she said winking at Lucifer.

Chloe was stunned. Lucifer had wings, beautiful wings. He looked different, too. He had a glow around him.

"I know you have your wings, but will someone please explain to me why he's glowing?"

Raz turned and looked at the human woman, "You can see that? You shouldn't be able to see that. That's the way father gave us to identify each other. Oh, boy."

"She's not like the other humans. Think it's the bloodline."

The angel knew better. There definitely was something about Chloe Decker. But right now, she didn't have time to figure it out.

"Father also says to tell you this..."

Gabriel chose that minute to pop in, "I have delivered Espinoza Dan to Father for divine punishment. Need any help?"

"Oh, great, just great. Now he's doing the punishing, too?"

"Both of you shut up, I was talking. Now where was I, oh yes. Father says to tell you to do as he says, not as he does and to protect your children, all three of them. Michael has gone rogue and Father has no power over him right now."

Lucifer nodded. At least Father hadn't left him defenseless. He could fight back.

Michael hovered over Chloe Decker's home. He was tired of waiting. He had given Espinoza Dan three days to end Lucifer but the desire to make his brother bleed was just too strong. He would end him and the human woman now. He flew head first into the house, breaking several windows in his way and landed, flapping his golden wings. He thought he looked regal and beautiful. He didn't he just looked like the prick he was.

"Lucifer Morningstar, formerly known as Samael, I sit in judgment of you and sentence you to death by the sword. Fallen angel and disobeyor of our Father, you shall be rendered to dust and scattered into oblivion for your sins. Consider this your formal excommunication from the Heavens. And I..."

"OH, shut up!"Raziel yelled, punching Michael so hard, he flew back outside. She had a mean right hook.

Lucifer and Gabriel nodded at each other, a sort of silent agreement to kick some ass. Michael stood and pulled out the flaming sword, "Pity you're all humanish. I hoped killing you would be harder. I've wanted you gone since you were created. Father always doting on you, giving you whatever you wanted. He even gave you your own realm to rule. I was left to guard the humans and listen to the pathetic prayers for money and food and medicine...blah, blah. And now you get to have the child Father forced me to sire off of a human. No, she is mine!"

Gabriel stroked his chin and shook his head,"Yeah, about that, she's not. Father just used you as the image in Chloe Decker's head as she dreamed so she couldn't recognize Lucifer when she met him later. You, more than anyone else, know about Grand Design, Mikey."

"No! Don't play games with me Gabriel. I shall end all of you with my sword," he said waving the weapon wildly.

Lucifer shook his head and released his wings,"Let's play, brother dear."

Michael rushed forth swinging. He was letting his emotion rule instead of his head and Lucifer tripped him. Lucifer laughed, and taking page from his secret favorite movie, Tombstone, kicked Michael in the side, "Why you're no daisy, you're no daisy at all."

"Oh, no. Seriously, that's the movie you chose to quote?", Raziel said, joining the fight after making sure the woman and child were safe.

"Hush and maim, RayRay."

Michael was back on his feet, growling at his siblings. He would vanquish them all except Lucifer. He would make him watch as he slaughtered his precious humans. He took off into the air, not caring if any humans saw him. This was the end of their world.

"Oh, no you don't", Lucifer said, yanking him back to the ground, bouncing him a few times in the process.

The raging angel off assache dropped his sword and it flew several yards, towards the house. It didn't matter, he would take all three of them with his bare hands. At then end of this day, everyone would die.

Lucifer used his wings to sever Michael's wing joints so he couldn't get away. Michael began biting and punching him so Raziel jumped onto Michael's back yanking clumps of feathers out, since she knew from personal experience, doing so brought him great pain, he once compared to human pain. His wing stems were almost bare by the time she was done. He couldn't shake her off as she bit, punched and clawed at his face. He used what little power he had left to slam Lucifer into the sand and kicked him in the ribs. Gabriel grabbed Michael's feet and pulled him to to the ground. They intended to fly him back to father to be dealt with but he wouldn't stop moving so they began to swing him, hoping to build enough inertia up to throw him high in the air and catch him and drag him behind them.

Chloe, unable to watch Lucifer be hurt, slowly opened the door and crawled to the sword, picking it up. She had to get it to Lucifer, it was the only way.

"Lucifer!", she cried, tossing him the sword just as Raziel and Gabriel were swinging Michael by his arms and legs.

The human didn't have very good aim and when she threw it, it went through Michael's chest, mid-swing. He disappeared in a cloud of dust. Lucifer looked so disappointed.

"Well, how very anticlimactic, detective."

"He wanted death by the sword and he got it, didn't he,"Raz said, nudging Chloe with her elbow. "Anybody got chocolate cake?"

Gabriel bounced up and down clapping his hands," I hope someone in heaven recorded that so I can watch it again and again while I munch on popcorn, that was so beautiful. Cheer up, Luci, at least he exploded out here in the sand and not in the house. No Dustbuster on earth could clean that up."


	19. Chapter 19

"Ouch, Abuela, stop hitting me. How are you hitting me, anyways? You died when I was 16."

"Si. And I'm glad I did, otherwise I would have died from a broken heart", she said, swinging her massive granny bag at his head, again.

"Where am I? How did I get here? Did I bump my head playing guitar?"

"You're in Heaven, stupid. God wants word with you. You tried to mess with his grandbabies. Aye Dios Mio, why are you such a stupido?"

"Man, I must have smashed my head in.", he pinched himself and twisted to see if it was real, "Ouch!"

God and Jesus came in, pushing Michael, who was strapped to a wheel. On the wheel was four wedges with a punishment scrawled across each one. Being sent to oblivion. Sent to co-rule Hell with Amenadiel, become Lucifer's slave for eternity or repentance and forgiveness.

Dan wrinkled his nose at the choices. If it was him on the wheel, he would be repenting and kissing as much ass as possible.

Jesus came and stood next to Dan, elbowing him in the side, "Father is very upset with you. In the words of my brother, Gabriel, you're in trouble, you're in trouble."

"Hey, I'm not the one chained to a wheel so I think I'm good."

"Lucifer was right, you are a douche!"

"Espinoza Dan, step forward and spin the wheel that will decide your co-conspirator's punishment."

"Barely spin it, human. Make it so that I am reinstated to my former glory", Michael whispered. "Remember who freed you from the bowels of Lucifer's night club."

God raised his hand, "The wheel must make a full rotation past it's starting point for the spin to be valid. Anything less will send you both to oblivion. You can not fool God Almighty,"

Dan stepped forward, more than a little nervous. He gave the wheel a firm spin but ti was heavier than it looked with the angel strapped to it. It went around once, twice, three times before landing on Co-rule hell with Amenadiel.

"No! I refuse such degradation."

"But it was good enough for your brother when you happily tossed him down there", Jesus said. "Father, if I may, I have an idea."

God nodded, looking intrigued, "Do tell, what is on your mind, my loyal son?"

"It would seem Mikey is enthralled by his own power and glory while at the same time, he is consumed by jealousy. Perhaps he should spend the rest of his days as a powerless human. Maybe a syphilitic prostitute in Roman Times?

Dan's grandmother giggled, she actually giggled, "Make him have an ugly face so he makes no money either."

"So it is spoken, let it be done."

Michael was cast into the Roman Empire just as Jesus said, "Well see how he acts after a few reincarnations in that time", god told the gathering crowd.

Bariel had recorded the whole thing to show Gabe later. He hoped they had enough popcorn to enjoy this show. Michael, the strongest of all was brought to tears by the man who always preached turn the other cheek. Haha, on that wheel, Mikey got both cheeks turned.

Maze was stalking back and forth in front of Dan's apartment, blades out and ready. She had not once had anyone escape her before. He was going to regret getting help. She didn't care what Lucifer or Chloe thought about it. Dan was going to be ground meat when she was done.

As she turned back to stalk the parking lot of the small, shitty complex, she was yanked off her feet from behind and moments later, dropped in the lush gardens of Heaven.

"What the fuck, are you crazy?", she yelled at the small angel who had abducted her. She went after it with her blades, slashing as the angel ducked, hiding behind a tall man. What the hell was this?

"Mazikeen of the Lilum, I have had you brought here to fulfill a request I have."

"Who the fuck are you to think you can make a request of me. I'm a freaking demon."

"I have a gift for you. Recently, someone escaped your prison and I wish to return him to you. You may do as you please with him and there will be no repercussions. My only demand is that you keep him away from my grandchildren for all eternity. Espinoza Dan is yours. "

"Hells yeah, let the games begin. Come on Dan, you're my bitch now."

"No, no fucking way. Make me a hooker, too."

Jesus grinned, crossing his arms over his chest, "Told you, you're in trouble."

Maze and Dan found themselves in Chloe's living room, "Look what your dad gave me. I can do whatever I want with it", she said, holding him in place by his hair,

Lucifer licked his lips, knowing what his demon could really do, "I do hope you intend to keep it in a cage."

Gabe had secretly watched the whole thing happen. He was in total agreement with Father and Jesus. Maybe a Roman Holiday would do Mikey some good. If not, he could try again. Giving the human to the demon was very funny. He wouldn't last a week.

"Haha, Dan is a demon's dog now", he said laughing and sitting next to the now sleeping Chloe.

"Well, I gotta roll. I have some plans for Danny boy. Can I use your car?"

Lucifer threw her the keys and shook his head. Dan was as good as dead. He couldn't believe how creative father was getting.

Chloe sat up, her eyes wide and she screamed. Gabriel laid his hand on her head, trying to use his angelic calming ability on her but it didn't work. He then put his head on her thigh, "Everyone alright in there?" His question was answered by her water breaking and gushing right into his face. "Help, Lucifer, she's using chemical warfare on me."

Lucifer shook his head at Gabriel, "It's water, you dolt,"he said, throwing the man-boy a kitchen towel.

Raziel ran to the humans side and rolled her onto her back, "It will be okay, I've done this a bajillion times."

"What are you talking about, we have to go to the hospital. It's way too soon for them to be born", Chloe yelled in the angel girl's face, trying to get up.

"When Father is involved, it's never too soon. You can't have these kids in a hospital. The last thing we want is a record of angelic DNA in someone's database. Just be calm and let us do our jobs. Lucifer, sit behind her and rub her stomach, it's soothing. We don't have any human drugs to make her comfortable",Raziel said, taking over.

Raziel pulled Chloe's maternity shorts off and opened the woman's legs. She felt her cervix and held up her fingers to Lucifer, "She's already dilated to six inches. These little buggers are eager to get out."

Chloe did the breathing exercises she learned when she had Trixie. She had no problem with natural childbirth but at this moment, she could use some drugs. Yummy, yummy drugs.

Gabriel came and stood behind Raziel and smiled, he was so happy he got to be there for the birth. Then he looked down at Chloe and screamed, "What in the name of Father is that thing?"

Trixie came into the room, rubbing her eyes, "Did the feathery jerk face come back? Did he hurt mommy?"

"Gabriel, you're not going to be any help here, go see to the child, Trixie, your siblings are coming, babe. Chill with Gabe so I can work."

Lucifer was shaking, scared of what was going to spring forth from his precious Chloe. He prayed to Father they weren't some mutants with red skin and wings. He was trying to remain calm for her sake but he was afraid.

Chloe gave a push, growling as she clutched tightly to Lucifer's hand. Gabe tried to pull Trixie away but she stood firm. He had gotten the girl as far as behind the couch,"Come along child, your mom is is good hands and good news, women don't die in childbirth as much as they used to."

"Gabriel!", Lucifer yelled at him.

"What?"

Raziel cupped her hands as she saw the head sliding out,"One good push, human and this kid is out."

Chloe pushed with all her might and then a loud cry filled the room, "I need a blanket, a towel, something."

Gabriel shoved a paper towel into her hands, turning his head away, frightened of Chloe's lady parts.

Trixie wrinkled her nose, "Seriously?" She said before running to the linen closet, pulling out her old baby blankets. "Use these Raz."

Lucifer laid Chloe down gently and stood to see to his child"

Chloe was sweaty but smiling, "Cut the cord, Luci."

He did as she bid and sat holding his firstborn while they waited for the second. The baby was perfectly rosy and wing-free. It only had 10 finger and toes. Lucifer instantly felt a wave of relief. He said a silent thank-you to his father as the child wailed, "My, what good lungs you have. Gabriel, come weigh this child."

The angel held out his hands to take the baby, his eyes clearly averted from Chloe. He was now afraid of her and all vaginas. Those things were too powerful. He would have to speak to father about them, "6 pounds, 3 ounces, I'd say."

"That's pretty good size for a twin", Raziel said.

"I knew I would have strong, powerful children. My legacy."

Trixie looked like she was going to cry. She knew the babies would be getting attention but all the grown-ups were distracted now. She slumped her shoulders and was about to go to back to her room but Lucifer stopped her, "Where are you going? Come sit with me and contemplate names for your mother to shoot down. You're my child as well, you will not be left out of decision making."

He took the baby from Gabriel and sat, extending his arm to Trixie, sitting her in his lap as well. She would not be neglected, he would see to that. That look on her face was all too familiar to him. He had worn it many times as Father made the humans.

Chloe cried out in pain just in time for Raziel to notice the other child making their entrance into the world. She carefully guided the babe out and wrapped it in a swaddling blanket. Lucifer repeated the cord cutting process with Raziel clamping it off. Where she obtained cord clamps was beyond him but she was an angel. Gabriel took the child, "5 pounds,7 ounces. Nice healthy kids, big brother."

Chloe was utterly exhausted. She lifted her head to smile at them, "So, what did we have?"

"Kids, Chloe, we had kids, they are very human looking as well."

"Lucifer, she means what are they boys, girls, what?", Trixie said to her silly Satan.

"You're going to have to start calling me Papa, miss. I don't allow my children to call me by my God given name", he chuckled. "And as for the children, a male and female child. Speaking of, this little spawnling looks ready to take aim. Gabe open the closet by the front door. I did some stocking up."

The angel skipped over and opened the door a little too fast and he was instantly buried in baby gear, diapers, bottles, cans of formula, everything you could need to start with. Gabe scooped up an armful and carried it to the table, spreading it out in front of them.

"Okay, how do I do this? I will not be like my father, I will assist you, Chloe."

"Let me show you, Papa. it's easy", Trixie said sliding the diaper onto her new brother. "See, just slide it under his little booty and pull the front up between his legs, then close the tabs. No big deal."

"Ah, genius, much better than the free balling father had them doing when he made them."

"I still laugh when I think about Adam peeing for the first time, remember how scared he was. It was beyond ridiculous", Raz reminisced.

"Do you remember the first time humans had sex and the faces they made? I recall you saying that was a face only Father could love", Gabe added.

"Well it was. Looked like that Disney character, 'Goofy' hayuck yuck", Raziel said, disgust palin in her voice.

Both children began to cry, loudly, little hands balled into fists. It was time to eat. Lucifer knew what he had to do. The devil was going to make a bottle.

Lucifer took a bottle of water and poured some into a nursing bottle and following the directions on the formula can, added a scoop to the water.

"Lucifer, I only breastfeed, it's what's best for babies",Chloe said arguing her stance.

"Darling, you really intend to feed two babes at a time? Look how hungry they were on the inside, imagine how hungry they will be on the outside. We would never get to sleep. Be logical, just this once. Look, same chemical make-up as tit juice," he said, handing her the can.

"You have to at least warm it up just a little bit. Not hot, just lukewarm."

"Very well", he said and touched the bottle with a tip of a feather. She reached over and shook it, testing it on her wrist. It was the perfect temperature and she told him so. His chest swelled with pride and he handed the small bottle to Trixie, "Would you like to be the first to feed your brother?"

She didn't have to be asked twice. She offered the bottle to the boy and he latched on, drinking his meal with gusto. She giggled and stroked his black hair. He was so cute.

"What are we going to name him?"

Lucifer repeated the same procedure with the second bottle and handed it to Chloe, who held her new daughter close, "I don't know. How about Damien for him and Rosemary for her."

"Ugg, no. The would get them beat up at school."

"My children will not be bullied. You will teach them how to kick the mean kids no-no touch places."

"Lucifer, don't tell her that!"

"I wasn't telling her anything, more like making a suggestion."

"Ass."

Gabriel looked from Lucifer to Chloe, "So what names do you have in mind, really?"

"How about Delilah for her and Frank for him?", Lucifer said quietly.

Chloe knew what was on his mind. Frank had touched Lucifer in a way no one else ever had. Without Delilah, they never would have met, even if Delilah met a sad end, "That's a beautiful tribute, Lucifer."

Chloe played with her daughter's tiny fingers,"Welcome to the world Delilah Morningstar."


	20. Chapter 20

/A/N. Thank you Janna, for unsticking me. Nope, still don't own it. Bit of a filler./

"Dude, you suck. Some angel you are. You wouldn't even help me get things around Chloe's house cleaned up. Are you really that afraid of something Father made?", Raziel said, giving Gabriel grief.

"I tell you, it had teeth. I saw them."

"You have such an overactive imagination Gabriel. Let's go check in with Dad and see what else we need to do."

The angels vanished leaving Lucifer wide awake with both children while Chloe rested. He knew she was strong but now he was amazed by her. She gave birth to Satan's children and lived to tell the tale. His daughter was asleep in her bassinet next to him and Trixie was playing with her new little brother. Parenthood was easier than Chloe made it out to be. He took little Frankie and held him high over his head, admiring his son. A loud squirting sound came from the boys backside the same time a loud burp passed his lips. A bit of spit up came out, landing in Lucifer's face just as the runny mess from his diaper ran down his father's wrist.

"Chloe, Chloe wake up! The child is leaking from both ends! Beatrice, get your mother, I think I broke him!"

Instead of being a nervous wreck like Lucifer, she instead pointed at him and laughed. Evil child. She shook her head and handed him a nappy and a box of wipes,"He pooped, you're going to have to change him."

"No child of mine, poops, as you say. This must be a product of his human side."

"Silly Satan, everybody poops."

"You clean it, he is your brother."

"He's your spawn, you do it!"

There was a loud pop and a blinding light filled the room, "Do you require assistance, Samael?"

"Ariel, what brings you here. Trixie, this is another sister of mine, Ariel."

"Like the little Mermaid, so cool", Trixie said, admiring the female angel. Trixie's little family was expanding everyday and she loved it.

Ariel was Uriel's twin sister. She stood at a whopping 7 feet tall and was built like an Olympian. Her features would remind one of Rachel Lutrell from Stargate Atlantis. She wore a leather vest with black jeans and bracers like Wonder Woman on her arms. Anyone who didn't know her, would think of her as a fierce warrior but Lucifer knew the gummy bear who lived in her heart. With it came to children, she was mush. That made her perfect to assist him with childcare. She had watched over countless children over the eons.

"All of heaven is watching you raptly and laughing at your misfortune. There has been corn popped as you entertain them."

"All of heaven? That's a bit of an exaggeration, surely."

"Even Father laughed when the boy child spit up on you. I am of the opinion he made it happen."

"Blasted interference. So, where is your twin? Still with Hurricane Penelope?"

"Nay, the human woman fired him and literally tossed him to the curb. He destroyed her vehicle crashing into a stop sign. I don't understand why she was upset, the sign said stop and stop he did. He also started a fire on her movie set making something called coffee. The man called Tom Cruise had her fired."

"Poor Uri, it was cruel of Father to make such a clumsy angel."

"True but he will always have me to make his journeys a bit easier. Now, hand me the babe and let me cleanse him, if you leave that stuff on baby skin too long, they get a rash. You don't want to deal with a rash. It's very tiresome."

Lucifer handed her his son and she laid him on the changing table Lucifer had set up against the wall. In a flurry of wipes and a gust of power, she was done and tickled the boy's tummy, "You're so cute, you must take after your mummy, yes you do. Daddy is an old crispy sausage. Yes he is."

"Ariel! Insulting me to my son?"

"Always, Samael"

"Wench! So does mama Decker getting fired mean she will be here soon? If so, we will have to move back to my penthouse sooner than anticipated."

"Her plane leaves tomorrow. She has a four hour lay over in Hawaii and then she lands at LAX at 6 pm. Shall I help you pack. I can do it with a snap of my fingers."

"Yes, please. Let me wake Chloe and tell her of the impending doom, I mean of her mother's return. I wonder why the old girl hasn't called?"

"Uriel broke her cellular device as well."

"Why didn't I guess that?"

 **In The heavenly Zone**

Raziel tied a doped up Gabriel to a chair. She had doped him to the gills with the Greek God's ambrosia. It was like angelic heroin. He was going to be pissed when he came back to himself but for now, she was going to enjoy this.

"Someone give me a phone? I know you guys have them", she said to her fellow angels. They did in fact have iPhones and some were even recording her as they munched the human food kettle corn.

One was thrust into her hand and she flipped the browser open and with a few quick swipes, found the image she was looking for, "This, Gabriel, is a human vagina when it is not spewing children forth. As you can see, it has no teeth and therefor does not chew, you idiot!"

"What is going on here, Raziel. Why are inundating your brother with pornographic imagery?"

Jesus always had to ruin her good time, "This dummy thinks human women's lady parts have teeth and will bite him."

Jesus raised his eyebrows at Gabriel and curled his lip, "Ah, carry on Raz. He needs the education Father failed to give him."

Jesus continued walking until he found his Father watching Lucifer, laughing at the devil's expense.

"What amuses you, Father? I have never seen you giggle so."

"Lucifer.. he's clueless. He thinks it's soooo easy to be a father but he can't even handle a bowel movement, ah ha ha ha."

"You're trying to teach him a lesson, aren't you?"

"Of course, it's my job."

 **LUX**

Maze was having too much fun with Dan. She had dressed him in a New Kids On The Block Shirt, an I love Donny hat and made him kiss a cardboard cutout of Justin Bieber, posting all of the pictures to the LAPD Instagram account. It was all fun until one of his friends at the precinct let a comment saying congratulations on becoming a dad again. The fool thought the children were Dans'. As if this impotent putz could even make kids, let alone be called a father.. Then another comment came, saying they saw Chloe with another dude and he needed to take care of that. These cops were going to be a problem. Maze didn't like problems.

She heard several bangs and slams from Lucifer's penthouse and ran up the stairs, taking them four at a time. She ran through the back door and entered to find a female stacking boxes. She recognized this one as one of Lucifer's sisters. But what the hell did she want.

"Who the fuck are you and why are you messing with Lucifer's stuff?"

"Ah, Mazikeen. I am Ariel, twin sister of Uriel. I am here because I am helping him move."

"Oh, so you're here to pack his stuff and move it to Chloe's? He's not coming home?"

"Oh on the contrary, he and his brood of humans are moving back here. I am simply his, what do you call it, a moving person. Then I shall take the post of nursemaid to the beings he sired."

Maze sighed with relief, for a minute there she thought he was going to make her babysit.

"Of course, you will be assisting with your niece Beatrice until the human female is back at her full capacity. If you will excuse me, I have more items to bring here."

Maze nodded, she could handle Trixie while Chloe recovered. How long did it take anyway? A couple of hours, a day at the most. She could do it.

"Sure, I can spare a couple of hours to help with Trix."

"No, Mazikeen, more like 6 to 8 weeks."

"Seriously? The Resurrection only took 3 days."

 **Mama Decker's house.**

"My mom is on her way back in the morning. Another of your heavenly sisters is moving our stuff as we speak and you can't change a diaper because it's beneath you and smells foul? Are you joking? So, you expect me to do it all, by myself?" Chloe said, incredulous, her post partum hormones controlling the conversation.

"Chloe, calm down. Of course I will help but you can't expect me to know exactly what to do, right away. This is very new for me. Hello, darling, Satan,"he said pointing to himself.

"Excuses, excuses. Even Trixie can change a diaper."

"But she wouldn't even help me, evil spawn."

As they argued, baby Delilah floated by the doorway. Chloe screamed while Lucifer looked proud as a peacock, "Look, love, Father has gifted her with levitation. Wonder what Frankie can do, besides cause his nappy to explode?"


End file.
